Sara's Christmas Wish List
by Bellabrew
Summary: GSR. Sara writes down her Christmas Wish List and is surprised when she gets more than she wished for. Story completed 02.19.06.
1. Chapter 1

SARA'S CHRISTMAS WISH LIST 1?

Spoilers: May have some through theaired episodes of season 6.

AN: Response to Cookie Challenge on CSI-GrissomSara Yahoo Group. The  
movie Sara watches is one of my holiday favs.

Disclaimer: GSR, the movie and cookie recipe aren't really mine, but I hope you enjoy this story anyway.

* * *

Christmas had always been one of the hardest holidays when she was growing up. While her classmates looked forward to Christmas  
vacation, she always dreaded it. She hated the weeks of tension, the way her stomach knotted because she knew something would set off the fighting again. School and homework were her usual refuge they gave her an excuse to be away from home or hide in her room to avoid the fights and the hospital visits that sometimes followed. The drinking was always worse near the holiday. 

Grabbing the remote she turned on the television and curled up on her bed to watch yet another sappy Christmas movie. It was part of the homework her Counselor had assigned before her next visit. She watched the credits scroll and smiled to see Mimi Rogers starring  
in "The Christmas List."

Within minutes she found a kindred spirit in Mimi's character Melody a thirty something woman who was passed over for a promotion,  
involved with an emotionally distant guy who couldn't quite commit. Sara watched as Melody was convinced by her best friend Naomi to  
write a Christmas List of things she wished for. She found the theme of the movie charming as Melody began to get everything she wanted in unexpected ways. Sara cried as she sympathized with the main character's trials and tribulations. Cheering as Melody eventually got her happily ever after.

Sara muted the television when the movie ended. She liked the idea of writing a Christmas List. Reaching into her nightstand she  
pulled out a pad and pen. Across the top of the page she wrote in capitals 'SARA'S CHRISTMAS LIST.' She tapped the pen against her leg as she began thinking about what she wanted. The most obvious was Gil Grissom, but she couldn't just write his name down. Her  
cheerful smile turned into a wicked grin as she considered the ways she'd like to have him, but decided to PG down her list. So she  
wrote down her first wish was to be kissed by Gil Grissom. Anything more than that might be more of a miracle than even Santa could  
manage.

Once the first item was written down she found the others followed quickly. Some were silly and impractical, but after she was done  
Sara found herself suddenly wanting to be more festive. Which could help fulfill wish number five: to have a truly Merry Christmas.  
Throwing on a pair of tennis shoes she decided she'd head to the mall and pick up some decorations.

She had never bothered with the traditional tree because that was a reminder of the annual fights that usually lead to screaming, broken  
ornaments and a visit to the local emergency room. Normally the most festive thing she did was pick up a couple of presents and send  
out greeting cards, but this year would be different. Sara stopped in front of the store display window enchanted by the 'tree' a large  
manzanita branch. Instead of colored ball ornaments it was decorated with ceramic ginger bread people, metallic cookie cutters and candy canes. It had a ribbon garland and small globe lights. "It's perfect. Exactly my kind of Christmas tree."

After getting the decorations home, Sara plugged in the lights and was pleased with the festive feel her apartment was starting to  
get. Turning the stereo onto the local channel that was playing Christmas Carols until Christmas Day she felt more festive than she  
had in years, but it wasn't enough. With her hands resting on her hips she thought about what was missing. She could see and hear  
Christmas, but she wanted to taste and smell it too. Cookies would fill that need. Sara remembered one of her happy Christmas memories when her mother would let Sara make the Peanut Butter Kisses.

Moving quickly around the kitchen she checked to see if she had all the ingredients. Pulling out the new jar of peanut butter, pulling  
out two eggs, the bag of sugar and her stash of chocolate kisses smiling as she checked each ingredient off her mental list. She did  
in fact have everything to make the cookies. In a mixing bowl she creamed the peanut butter and sugar. Then added the eggs one at a  
time, beating the mix well after each one.

Dipping her hands in flour Sara rolled the dough into 1-1/4-inch balls that she placed 2 inches apart on the ungreased baking sheets.  
She caught herself humming "Joy to the World" as she put the cookie sheets into the 350 degree oven. Now she just had to wait 14-16  
minutes or until the tops cracked before she could remove them to thewire cooling rack. Then came her favorite part, when she would press the chocolate kiss in the center of each cookie. When she was done she'd have more than 4 dozen cookies to share with her co-workers.

Sara washed her hands and realized she felt happier than she had in a long time, maybe there was something to writing down her heart  
desires on her Christmas List. One was down and she had five more days to check the others off.


	2. Chapter 2

SARA'S CHRISTMAS WISH LIST 2?

Spoilers: Should only be tidbits from aired episodes of season 6.

AN: Response to 12-18-05 Unbound Challenge where first and last lines are provided.

Disclaimer: GSR isn't mine, but I hope you enjoy this story anyway.

* * *

He watched, stunned for a moment, as Santa walked around the lab. Every year Conrad Ecklie picked an employee to hand out the county holiday cards and gifts. It was a task that Conrad considered a suitable punishment for one of several transgressions. Usually it  
was one of the guys from day shift wearing the padded fur-trimmed red suit.

Except that this year Santa wasn't a jolly fat man, but a long legged brunette. He noticed she wasn't wearing the traditional Santa hat,  
but a headband that dangled mistletoe in front of her. When she stepped fully into view he saw that Sara was wearing what had to be  
the shortest fur trimmed red dress Grissom had ever seen. The outfit showed off her trim figure and long legs. His eyes followed  
her as she moved from the AV Lab to Trace.

Grissom snapped his mouth shut partly to keep himself from making a fool out of himself. As the first stirrings of anger and jealousy  
twisted in his gut he took a minute to examine his feelings. He was angry at Ecklie for forcing Sara to parade around work in that outfit  
where she would be ogled by her male co-workers. Grissom doubted that he was the only one who would found that outfit a fantasy come true. He also admitted privately that he didn't like having other men see HIS SARA as a sex object. There was more to her than that.  
Sara was the smartest, bravest and most loving woman he'd every known and she should be respected by her peers.

Yet as he watched her through the glass windows of the Trace Lab with David Hodges, he didn't sense any discomfort on her part as she  
pulled a present from her bag and handed it to the tech with a warm and genuine smile. The pair chatted for a few minutes before she  
gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, picked up her bag and exited the room.

Sara walked into the Ballistics' Lab grateful to be nearly done with this assignment. She laughed at Bobby D's teasing comments about her outfit just as she had with the dozen of other techs and CSIs before him. Ecklie considered this to be an odious task and she knew he had given it to her on purpose. If he thought she'd get angry and insubordinate enough over the task or the outfit that Grissom  
couldn't protect her this time, he was mistaken. Sara wouldn't give him the satisfaction instead she accepted the teasing gracefully  
until she found herself actually enjoying being able flirt shamelessly with her co-workers under the guise of spreading theholiday cheer. As she kissed Bobby's cheek and exited the lab she smiled.

Only one person was left for Santa Sara to visit and with any luckshe'd be able to cross another item off her Christmas Wish List.  
After a quick stop at the locker room to grab her present for Grissom she made her way to his office. Knocking lightly on the door frame  
she waited for him to look up before entering. "Have you been a good boy this year Gil?" Sara asked in the same teasing way she'd approached everyone else, though it felt just as odd calling Grissom by his given name as it had Hodges. When Grissom said nothing just raised an eyebrow Sara took a chance, shut the door behind her and crossed the room until she was half-sitting on thecorner of the desk nearest him. "You haven't answered my question. Don't you know if you've been naughty or nice? Well maybe Santa'sanswer has the bag." Reaching into the nearly empty sack she pulled out the county present which she set down in front of him. "Hmmm looks like the citizens and crime lab of Clark County think you've been good." Reaching down she pulled out the other present a slim cd case sized envelope. Sara made a point of reading the card. "To a Naughty Griss, in case you finally knows what to do about this." She set the present next to the first. "Merry Christmas Gil Grissom." Then she leaned in and gently pressed her lips to his. It wasn't much of a kiss, but she didn't want to embarrass either of them.

Grissom looked at the small thin present and asked himself the question that had haunted him since he'd first declined her dinner  
invitation. Did he know what to do about this? The two presents sitting side by side reminded him of his own private on-going  
battle. Did he take the risk? Which one was more important to him? The picture of the whole team that sat on his desk since Nick's  
abduction caught his attention. He looked up to respond to her when he noticed she was gone. To an empty room he whispered. "Merry  
Christmas, Sara."

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

SARA'S CHRISTMAS WISH LIST 3?

Spoilers: Should only be tidbits from aired episodes of season 6.

AN: This is a song fic sorta you'll see what I mean. I included the song title and performer in case you want to search for either the lyrics  
or watch the video on Yahoo's music category.

Disclaimer: The songs used and CSI characters belong to their respective creators. I do not own them and all rights belong to those creators.

* * *

Grissom stared at the pair of packages for a few more minutes before realizing that shift was over and he could head home. Shoving the  
smaller one into his briefcase, he carried the other one out under his arm. 

"Dr. Grissom." The receptionist called out as he walked past. "Another package was left for you."

He looked at the holiday gift wrapping on the package it looked familiar which a little confusing, but he tucked this present under  
the other one with a quick "Thank you" before he continued on his way. The drive home was a blur as he considered the packages. His focus was on the one from Sara addressed to the Naughty Griss and the mystery gift addressed simply to Grissom. He'd already lost interest in the one from the County. He'd read Ecklie's memo and knew that the package contained the same travel mug everyone else had gotten.  
Walking into his home, he dropped his briefcase in the entry, stopping long enough to pull Sara's package out before heading to the  
living room. Grissom decided to ignore his normal morning routine as he took the gifts over to the coffee table and sat down on his sofa. With the presents sitting side by side he noticed the wrapping was identical except that the larger one had a red envelope attached. He opened the greeting card envelope and smiled at the card depicting palm trees decorated with Christmas lights. Opening it his smile  
widened, "Happy Holidays Grissom. May your every wish be granted. Love Sara."

Deciding to savor the anticipation of her naughty Griss' present he carefully undid the wrapping paper while wondering what it could be.  
At three inches tall, eight inches wide and maybe thirteen inches long it was too large to be a book, but he couldn't think of anything  
else she would have gotten him. Underneath the paper he found a plain cardboard box sealed with packing tape. Pulling out his pocket  
knife he sliced opened the tape and opened the box. Resting on top was a piece of stationary. He recognized Sara's handwriting.

"Grissom, inside you will find your very own beach comber zen garden kit. It was created just for you. I got the idea from my Counselor  
who has this zen garden that she uses for relaxation and stress relief. Maybe yours can also be a reminder that you deserve a life  
and diversions outside of work besides bugs and rollercoastersope you find it relaxing. Love Sara."

Beneath that she'd written the description she found on the website. "The Zen Garden is a scaled-down representation of Nature,  
with the rocks resembling mountains and the sand, water. Zen, the Sanskrit word for Meditation, is a learned discipline. The purpose is  
to clear the mind of chaos and achieve a greater state of inner peace. As you rake the sand around the rocks, you can choose patterns  
and designs reflecting swirling pools or swift streams. It is thepatterns evolving from the contemplative mind that provide the most  
serene landscapes. Experiment, meditate and enjoy."

Inside the box he found all the pieces of a standard zen garden. The wooden tray, a bag of sand, two small rakes and a booklet on  
meditation. He noticed Sara had made some additions and on each she had attached small post-it notes with more handwritten comments. There were a couple panoramic photos. "Griss here are some landscapes to inspire you."

Each picture was set out on the table. He recognized the first one as the beach near his childhood home. The next beach was the one  
Sara had introduced him to outside San Francisco when he visited her during a business trip years ago. The last one though was not a  
beach, but of the Mojave Desert, the scene looked vaguely familiar like he'd been there before. She had also included a collection of shells and stones each individually wrapped in tissue paper.

Grissom set up the zen garden, absently drawing symbols and shapes in the sand as he thought about Sara's gift. He wasn't sure he could find the words to tell her how much it meant to him. She'd given him pieces of his past with the pictures of those beaches. Places that were very special to him because he'd shared them only with the women he loved more than life; his mother and Sara.

Lady Heather had once said he feared being known and he admitte There was some truth to that. The other side was that he was afraid of loving someone who didn't really know him and wanted to change him to fit her image. Leaning back he looked at the design he'd drawn in the sands.

For too many years it had been easy to discount Sara's feelings and his own; to ignore the jealousy, protectiveness and caring of their  
shared attraction. He'd only been partially honest with Dr. Luhrie in the interrogation room all those years ago, but looking at her  
present he realized that it was time to be brutally honest with himself before it really was too late.

The last couple years had changed everything. How many times had he come close to losing her? Too many, his heart whispered. Most people thought that Nick's abduction was the catalyst for his change, but it wasn't. Watching Nick's plight had only strengthened the need  
for the changes he'd already been making. Changes made because of Sara, because like his hearing issue, ignoring the situation hadn't  
changed it or made it better. The analogy concerned him because when he went for surgery it had nearly been too late.

For Grissom the changes started with the lab explosion. The blast had been the first catalyst in breaking down his inner walls. Then  
events following it just kept reinforcing his need to be different for and with Sara. It was Brass who warned him that she'd nearly  
been hurt during an arrest. He'd watched helpless as an insane convict held her hostage. Watched, but didn't really see how bad  
things were getting until her close call with the DUI and finally her suspension.

Gil Grissom wasn't like Warrick who had embraced a carpe diem attitude after Nick's abduction and made a quick life altering  
decisions by getting married. Gil was more comfortable with making lots of small subtle changes. Smiling at the image that sprang to  
mind, he saw the old cartoon of the tortoise and the hare. That was an apt metaphor for his relationships and life.

Sara had started out a hare, but she hadn't been that way in a while. He acknowledged she had also grown and changed too. By  
admitting some of the painful details of her past; he'd come to understand her better. The more he learned, the more she amazed him. The present just showed that she was also learning to understand him in a way no one other than his mother ever had.

Grissom wanted to see what the other gift was she'd given to him so heturned his attention to the other package. In his mind he could  
still picture her in that skimpy Santa-like outfit. He knew with certainty that it would become one of his favorite ways to remember  
her. Opening the wrapping paper he stared at the cd case and another note from Sara.

"Gil. Inside you'll find two cds. The first one you need to insert into your computer to run the Power Point presentation. The second  
goes into your stereo. Sara."

Opening the case he found another note and thought about her comment about over-talking. Wondering if this time she was guilty of over  
writing. Still he wondered what she had in mind. Getting up he inserted the second cd into the stereo, grabbed the remote for it and  
carried his laptop back before settling back on the couch. Starting the Power Point presention he was surprised when the first slide was  
the same San Francisco beach. Then words began popping up on the screen with the sound of someone typing.

"Gil if you're reading this then either you know what to do about us or more likely you're curious and investigating. Either way you will  
need to know that the slides work in tandem with the songs that will be playing on the other disc. For example if you start the cd now on  
track 1 you should be hearing "Christmas By the Bay" performed by Tim Hockenberry a San Francisco cabaret singer. To advance the slide show presentation just click your mouse. It's up to you whether you listen to the whole song or just a fragment. I'm letting you decide how fast or slow you run this show."

Pressing the remote he listened as the man sang about Christmas in the city by the Bay and of spending his favorite holiday in his  
favorite place. He briefly wondered if Sara felt homesick when she heard this song. She'd abandoned her life in San Francisco for him  
and he'd never even asked if she missed it. He let the song play through, pressing the mouse button when the second track began.

The screen identified the next song as "My Immortal performed by Evanescence" before the words disappeared to be replaced by different type. "I never told you I heard you in the interrogation room with Dr. Luhrie, but I did. One day while listening to this song I realized it wasn't fair to you. I've tried to tell you in person, but never quite managed it so here it goes." Listening to woman singing he found certain lyrics tugging at his heart, but it was the chorus that brought tears to his eyes. Then Sara's words on the screen echoed the sentiment. "Like she says you've held my hand, wiped away tears, and tried to comfort me. Ijust wanted you to know that you still have me, just as you always have."

The third song finished, he clicked the mouse watching as the first screen faded to be replaced by a new screen. "What Can You Lose  
performed by Madonna and Mandy Pantkin." He listened to the jazzy duet. Sara had found a song that perfectly matched his fears.

"From what I saw you've spent a lot of time asking What can you lose?' Well I would like you to ask yourself What do you have to  
gain?' I can't imagine that things would be any worse between us if we tried and failed then they were a couple of years ago. By not  
trying you aren't risking anything, but you aren't gaining anything either."

The next track began, he watched as the song information popped up on the screen. "The Reason performed by Hoobastank." This time a male voice was singing. This time the words of the chorus appeared on the screen.

I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show  
A side of me you didn't know  
A reason for all that I do  
And the reason is you

"You're the reason I'm becoming a better person. You made it safe to share the worst night of my life and because of that and your support I'm actually dealing with my past. You kept insisting I find diversions and a reason for living besides work. I'm working on that  
still, but I am a better CSI because of you. Every day you challenge me to learn more and be a better."

The song changed again and he quickly clicked the mouse button wanting to see what Sara had in store for him. "More Than Words  
performed by Extreme." The harmonies of the men crooning were evocative, but he was even more entranced by the words Sara had  
written.

"We never seem to be able to find the right words, but there are times when the words seem unimportant. From the first day we met  
you've always been more than a mentor, boss and friend because I felt a connection to you that I've never had with anyone else. I don't  
know what to call it, but I know it is still there even all these years and I suspect it always will be. I realize you could never be  
too late, but Gil if all you can offer me is what we have nowthen I'm willing to accept that."

He listened as a familiar Christmas tune began. The screen identified it as "Last Christmas performed by Wham." He waited to  
see what Sara would say next.

"I know I just said I accept what you're willing to offer and I will, but not before having my final say. The song says that last  
Christmas I gave you my heart, but we both know that's not true. You've had my heart for years, but this Christmas I'm willing to give  
it to you again in the hopes you'll be willing to keep it."

The final track was "Shakira performing The One." Unlike the previous tracks Sara hadn't typed any comments just allowed the  
lyrics to communicate completely. The song ended but the chorus was still visible even over the final image a picture of them from a  
Christmas party a few years ago.

You're the one I need  
The way back home is always long  
But if you're close to me I'm holding on  
You're the one I need  
My real life has just begun  
Cause there's nothing like your smile made of sun

In the world full of strangers  
You're the one I know

Sara had revealed quite a lot and now it was time for the tortoise to pull his head out of his shell. A chuckle broke the silence of the  
townhouse and he remembered Cath's comment about getting his head out of the microscope. Grissom hoped he was finally ready to share the depth of his feelings for Sara because he'd be wrong about not being able to risk everything for her. Now he just needed to figure out what would be the perfect way to reciprocate her Christmas gifts….

TBC

AN:  
is the description given at coolstuffcheap dot com. I figure Sara's like me when I'm not sure a person will know what a gift is I  
include the marketing blurb just in case.


	4. Chapter 4

AN:I'm already working on the next part so it should be up tomorrow night with any luck. It's kinda a response to achallenge from the CSI-GrissomSara Yahoo Group, but we'll just see if I can get all 10 of the requirements in before the story ends.

* * *

He smiled at the brunette woman who looked vaguely familiar. "So Cutie you still looking for a girlfriend?" It took another couple of seconds for Grissom to recognize the face and voice. His cheeks went a little pink at the memory; he'd met her while canvassing attendees at a convention while working a suffocation case a while back. She'd stood out in his memory not because of the way she looked or that the purple camisole had been an important break in the case, but mostly because she'd grabbed his ass and been very forward.

"Uhm, no I'm actually here to see someone a personal shopper named Cynthia."

"Then you must be Dr. Grissom." She held out her plump hand and smiled warmly at him. "How can I help you today?"

"Well I need to buy a present for Sara she's uhm." How did he describe Sara? She had been his student, was now his employee, but what would she be if this went well? Girlfriend? He tried the title on and was torn because it didn't convey the seriousness of what he wanted. Companion? Lover? While he liked the intimacy that they implied neither expressed the depth of the relationship he hoped they would have. Soulmate? That fit but was so 'New Age' he wasn't comfortable with it.

"Your significant other?" She asked with an amused smile.

"Yeah." That would work for now.

"Lucky girl."

"Actually I'm the lucky one. I've been a bit of an ass, but she's still around." He wasn't sure how much to share.

Cynthia just looked at him with an eyebrow raised. He wasn't the first man to come in today needing help like this. "So this is a makeup present?"

"Sort of. It's just she's really something special and I want to get her something that says that I know that and I'm sorry I don't say it enough."

As a personal shopper she was used to all kinds of makeup presents. Most were for guys who weren't really genuinely sorry but needed to fix things because they had done something stupid ranging from the 'I forgot her birthday or our anniversary' to 'oops I slept with someone else.' Looking closely at Dr. Grissom she noticed a sincerity and a desire to redeem himself that she found endearing. Whoever this Sara was she really was a lucky girl. "Alrighty then let's see what we can find."

Shopping wasn't something he liked doing, usually he'd just enlist Catherine's help. He'd been ready to call her, had nearly pushed the speed dial button, but hadn't. It felt wrong to share 'this' with someone they knew before sharing it with Sara. Plus he knew Catherine well enough to know she'd have lots of comments and advice. 'This' was still too new, too personal and too fragile for others to get involved. So instead he was here in a department store braving the hoard of last minute Christmas shoppers meeting with a personal shopper hoping to find Sara something more meaningful than what he'd bought her pre-CD.

"So what can you tell me about her? What are her likes and dislikes?"

"Well she's a vegetarian so she likes living plants and animals. She likes music, all kinds of colors, science, math and…."

"Okay, okay that's a good place to start. Now what do you have in mind."

The more he talked with Cynthia about Sara and what he wanted to express the more he discovered about him, her and them. Cynthia would ask specific questions about Sara. Each time he answered one he thought would stump him Gil was astounded about how much he knew and remembered about Sara. He'd once teased her about remembering everything he said, but he found he had similar recollections. While he didn't always remember exactly what she said, certain things were branded into his memory like the way she looked in the morning sun, or any one of the thousand looks or smiles she'd get while working a case.

* * *

Grissom had the first gift from the store in the office. He'd planned on giving it to Sara before shift, but hadn't had a chance. Now that shift was over he was disappointed at missing the chance to give it to her and apologize for all the lost years. He reasoned they couldn't go forward until they'd dealt with the past. Wandering into the break room for a refill cup of coffee he noticed Sara resting on the couch. Her eyes closed and her breathing deep and even in sleep.

Watching her he wondered how she really was. If he asked she'd probably tell him she was fine because she always said that unless he pushed. Assigning cases last night had been tough because he'd had to choose which one was the lesser of two evils. He'd given her the rape case instead of the domestic violence and murder, but questioned his decision now. She'd spent the night working with Nick while Grissom worked with Greg and Warrick since Catherine was off for Lindsey's Winter break from school. He wished he'd been able to keep an eye as she worked on the case, but he really hadn't been prepared to work with her yet.

The buzzing of the her phone against her waist woke Sara up. Before opening her eyes she stretched. The shift had been long and draining, but she hadn't left yet because the DNA tech had promised to page her results the results soon. If the rapist was a repeat offender like they thought then the Police could arrest him this morning instead of waiting until tonight. Sitting up she rolled her neck in a circle to get rid of the kink she'd developed earlier.

"Sara you should head home." Grissom kept his tone mild, but the concern slipped through anyway.

"I will. Just gonna check," She yawned as she stood up. "On the DNA results. The guy might be in CODIS and we might get an arrest today."

"Alright, but stop by my office before you leave. Okay?"

"Sure Griss." Stopping at the doorway she turned and watched him pour himself a cup of coffee. She was trying to analyze the evidence to determine if he'd watched the CD, but couldn't pinpoint any changes between them. Had creating that presentation been a mistake? Was giving it to her a boss an even bigger one? Sara shook her head to distance herself from the personal questions so she could focus on her case.

After a quick call to Sofia Curtis with the DNA results Sara headed to the Locker Room to grab her stuff. As she headed back down the hallway to Grissom's office she questioned what he wanted this time. When her foggy brain remembered the last time she'd been in here and how she'd kissed him. Oh please not that she thought not another I don't know what to do about this speech or even worse the sexual harassment one. She sighed quietly noticing he looked up, smiled and closed the file he was working on when he heard her knock on the door.

"Come on in."

"What's up Grissom?"

"Well you left so quickly yesterday I didn't get a chance to thank you for everything or wish you Happy Holidays or give you your present."

"Present?" She asked as he nodded picking up a wrapped box similar in size to their evidence boxes.

"You might want to open this at home."

"Home. Right. Well thank you." The size of the box was disconcerting what could he possibly have gotten her. "Uhm it's not bugs or a spider is it?" She asked warily surprised when he laughed before handing it over.

"No Sara, but if you have any questions about it give me a call." She felt the electrical spark of attraction and sexual tension when their fingers brushed as he handed her the box. He noticed the slight hitch in her breathing as he leaned in and kissed her. Brushing his lips against hers mimicking the kiss she'd given him last night. Pulling back he licked his lips surprised by the taste of her flavored lip gloss a hint of chocolate mint. "See you tonight."

He opened the door, grinning as Sara Sidle who usually was an over talker around him was abnormally silent as she walked out of the Crime Lab. Yes payback was a bitch he thought with a grin. Her little presentation last night had left him dazed and confused so it was only fair she get a taste of her own medicine. Grissom settled back behind his desk hoping to get a little more work done while waiting for Sara's call.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Neither CSI nor the songs used in this story are mine. They belong to someone else I'm just borrowing them for a little seasonal amusement.

AN: Thanks for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

* * *

After getting home Sara set the box on her coffee table, grabbed some pajamas from her dress and headed into the shower hoping to either relax enough to get a couple hours of sleep or wake up enough to deal with Grissom's Christmas present. The size of the box concerned her, not to mention what he might give her to fill it. Quickly her mind came up with scenario after scenario ranging from an ant farm to old forensic journals to a quotations calendar. Each one was discounted as she could almost hear Grissom chastising her for letting her theories get ahead of the evidence.

Sara slipped into the matching pajama bottoms and top before noticing which pair she'd grabbed. The black knit pajamas were the pair that always made her think of Grissom. Mostly because when she'd seen the Pink Floyd pajamas she'd remembered the time when they watched the Wizard of Oz synched to Pink Floyd in a San Francisco park near her home. On impulse she'd bought a set in his size as well as one in hers, but had never had the guts to give him his. So after two birthdays and Christmas had past when she still hadn't given him the pajamas she'd started wearing the top from his set to wear with her bottoms and put the bottoms away in her drawer of seasonal clothes.

Now too awake to go back to sleep she clicked the stereo remote and began playing the cd she'd left in there while she perched on the couch and stared at the box. Enjoying a few moments of possibility before reality crashed down around her as she undid the bows and ribbons surrounding the paper and discovered what was inside the box. She fantasized for a few minutes about the more unlikely contents of the box like a picnic basket filled with vegetarian goodies they could enjoy while having a pleasant dinner and a movie while working on 'this' or even something more outrageous like lingerie and a book of poetry.

Finally with a deep breath Sara was prepared for disappointment and began to undo the bow, ribbons, and the wrapping paper. She'd been right about the box being the same as the bankers' boxes they used to store evidence. The odd thing was as she revealed the side where the case file information went she noticed Grissom's handwriting. On closer inspection she recognized the case information he'd written on it. Sara smiled the case number was created by combining two special dates. The first half was the date they first met at the seminar. While the second was the day she agreed to come to Las Vegas to investigate Warrick. Below that the case was identified as GSR.

Amazed and confused she pulled the box top off wondering what kind of 'evidence' Grissom had given her. Sitting on top inside the box was a hand written note. While not an original idea she was privately delighted that he'd made his present similar to the ones she'd given him. The heavy linen paper was smooth in her hands as she read his words.

"Dearest Sara,

I've always told my CSIs to follow the evidence because it never lies, but people do. Sometimes people lie intentionally and sometimes they lie to themselves without meaning too. Some lies are small and innocuous, while others are not, but you already know that. I apologize for being guilty for of all these kinds of lies.

For years I've lied to both of us, but after watching your cd, I started thinking about what you heard when I interrogated Dr. Luhrie and faced exactly how long I've been lying to myself. I owe you so many apologies going back over the years that I don't know where to begin. So I'm starting with a apology for all the times both intentional and accidental that I've hurt you. I'm so very sorry, Honey.

However, there are specific times and instances I want to apologize for, but those are apologies I want to make in person. Also I would like to talk to you. For too many years I didn't know what to say, but now I do because each of these packages has been selected to express a very special message from me to you, but Sara you'll need to call me to hear them. Gil"

Sara felt the dampness on her cheeks before she realized that she'd been crying. It seemed her hair-brained scheme had paid off and she had finally gotten a reaction from Dr. Gil Grissom Entomologist extraordinaire. Drying her cheeks and taking some deep breaths before looking for her phone Sara was looking forward to 'unwrapping' the rest of her present. She pressed the speed dial, hardly breathing as it rang twice before he answered.

"Grissom."

"So you said I should call."

"Yes I did. So what do you think?"

"That I want to open the rest of my presents. So when can we do this?

"I'm about ten minutes away. Did you need me to stop for anything?"

"No, but the coffee will be hot by the time you get here."

"See ya soon Honey."

"Yeah." Her voice was soft and barely more than a whisper into the phone before the conversation ended. Now she had ten minutes to tidy the house and start a pot of coffee before he arrived. Sara smiled as she listened to the song playing on the stereo. Nick had given her the Sara Evans cd and it had become a recent favorite. Since the stereo was on shuffle she let herself believe that the song be an omen for what was about to happen. Sara Sidle sang along with Sara Evans to the song "A Real Fine Place To Start."

I'm gonna do it darlin':

I could waste time tryin' to figure it out,

But I'm jumpin' in anyhow.

I've never been this far;

Didn't know love could run so deep:

Didn't know I'd lose this much sleep.

Holdin' you close, chasin' that moon.

Spinnin' all night,

Lovin' just who you are:

Sparks flyin' in the dark.

Shootin' out lights, huntin' down dreams,

Figurin' out what love really means:

Baby, givin' you my heart,

Is a real fine place to start.

Sara danced over to the kitchen to start the coffee and then moved around her apartment picking things up and doing a little tidying, moving quickly hoping to have time to change into some clothes. She wasn't really surprised when he knocked on her door five minutes earlier than he said. In all the years she'd known Grissom he'd almost always been early. Looking down at her outfit she shrugged because deep down she hadn't really expected to have time to change out of her pajamas and opened the door anyway.

Grissom had showered and changed since end of shift, but that wasn't the whole reason her mouth dropped open in shock as she looked at the man standing on her door step. Over the years she had identified several parts of his personality. There was Dr. Grissom noted entomologist and criminalist. Grissom the philosopher who quoted Shakespeare, Buddha and Homer Simpson easily. The brilliant nightshift supervisor who taught and guided her, but the man standing in front of her was someone she hadn't seen in years. Wearing an ancient leather jacket, faded denim blue jeans that fit like a second skin, a black LVPD t-shirt and ball cap. He was looking at her with a twinkle in his blue eyes and a playful smirk that she hadn't seen in years. He looked ten years younger and it was like seeing the man she'd initially fallen for as if the intervening years had never happened.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"You want to come in?"

He smiled at the invitation. Last time he'd had to practically push his way in and then forced Sara to reveal the reason for her anger, but lots of things had changed since that last visit. Both Sara and he had changed enough that taking this step forward was now possible. "Yes I'd like that a lot."

"Would you like a cup of coffee or something to eat?"

"Coffee would be good."

"I'll be right back. Have a seat." Sitting on the couch Grissom glanced into the box pleased that the plan was working so well. He had a lot to make up for and Cynthia assured him the romantic gestures he was planning would go a long way to mending the damage his avoidance had caused. He stood when Sara came back returning with two mugs of coffee. She handed him one.

"Just the way you like it I promise." He sipped and nodded after they sat back on the couch close but not touching. She had fixed it just right.

"It is. Thank you. So you read the note." It was her turn to nod. "Sara I need you to make me a promise before I start. That you will stay, listen and let me do this my way in my own time. Can you understand that?"

"Yes, I promise."

"Good. Now for your first present." He handed her a long flat black velvet box. Enjoying the way her eyebrows furrowed at the box before opening it. "When I was little my mom would tuck me in and tell me a bedtime story. My favorites were the stories she told using her charm bracelet.

When my parents started dating the first gift Dad bought her was a sterling silver charm bracelet. Over the years he would give her charms. She had charms for places we'd visited on school breaks, things that reminded us of her and special memories. Mom always says that when she misses me or Dad that all she has to do is look at her bracelet and she remembers the good times and how much we love her." Sara opened the box to see the sterling silver link bracelet lying in the box. Her mouth formed a silent 'O' but she didn't interrupt. He sipped his coffee before continuing, setting the mug aside to grab another long jeweler's box that he handed to her.

"Each of the charms in this box reminded me of how we met and where we've been together." This time Sara's excitement was palpable as she opened the box to reveal the sterling charms he'd picked out. He watched as she fingered each one.

"An A-plus for the best student I ever had. A charm for each of the wonderful times I had with you in San Francisco."

"Look at this Golden Gate Bridge, a Cable Car and a beach sand bucket." She identified each charm as she touched them delicately amazed at the detail on something so small.

"Then I called you and you packed your bags and came to Las Vegas." Sara felt the tears pricking at the back of her eyes as she examined the little luggage charm engraved with an airplane on the side and the tiniest slot machine she'd ever seen.

"They are gorgeous." He smiled, but she noticed how quickly his expression became serious.

"Sara. I'm sorry for the way things started for you here. You had an uncomfortable transition when you joined the team. As your supervisor and your friend I should have made that easier, but I didn't and for that I'm very sorry because you deserved better."

"It's okay. You were going through a lot of changes yourself Griss."

"That's no excuse Sara. Nor is there any good excuse for lots of things I've done over the years, but never doubt that I've enjoyed working with you." He handed her the next box which she opened revealing six more charms. She turned the box to face him, silently waiting for him to explain their significance.

"You're a damn good CSI Sara." He told her letting their gazes lock for a couple of heartbeats before returning their attention to the charms. "The outline of the footprint is an example of the evidence you find at the scene. Then there's the camera you use to document it." Sara was amazed at the detail on the small charm that looked like the cameras they used at work. "Then you ask questions as you try to piece together the puzzle." That explained the silver question mark and puzzle piece charms. Pulling out the next box he opened it quickly and began to continue. "After putting the case together the police make the arrest."

"Ah that explains the handcuffs. So the gavel is us going to court and the scales are a symbol of us getting justice?" She asked, smiling broadly when he nodded. That smile was one of his favorites. Of the hundreds of different ones she had he loved the brilliant smiles that lit up her face. The ones he just loved to bask in. He was tempted to kiss her again, but that would be getting ahead of his time table.

"That's exactly why you got the A-plus charm first. You want to try the next box?" He handed it to Sara and watched the inner battle. She'd made a promise, but that was warring with her desire to solve the puzzle.

"Are you sure?" She asked looking up at him from her lowered eyelashes.

"Absolutely." She took the box from him and gasped as she saw the charms inside.

"Grissom I didn't know they made charms like this. How did you find them?"

Gil smiled and silently thanked whoever had assigned Cynthia to be his personal shopper. She'd managed to find a charm dealer who carried the charms of the beetle, housefly, knight chess piece, potted plant, butterfly, and a little cell phone that actually opened and closed.

Breathing in Sara tried to explain the meaning of each charm. "Well there were beetles at a couple of crime scenes, but the pig experiment stands out."

"You became a vegetarian after that experiment."

Sara nodded, but her attention was already fixed on the housefly charm. "There were lots of houseflies in that apartment we tore up looking for a body. That was the case where you had plaster on your face." Observing her closing he noticed the little pink color in her cheeks at the memory and noticed she didn't add that she'd caressed his face to get rid of it. "Let's see you helped me beat Warrick at chess. You sent me a plant at work when I wanted to leave. Is the cell phone from that case when you couldn't reach me when I was at the vineyard?"

"Yes."

"Hmm, but Griss I can't think of a case involving butterflies. What does the butterfly charm stand for?"

"The Debbie Marlin case, you heard my interrogation with Dr. Luhrie, but that didn't reveal everything. You know she looked like you, but I don't know if anyone told you how the case affected me?" Grissom took her hands in his own. "Seeing her there I kept thinking of you. Of all the dangers we face everyday both at the job and off. I barely slept or ate while processing her house. I poured over every square inch looking for any evidence to bring her killer to justice. I had to solve her case for you, for us."

"Us?"

"Any monster who could do that to her, could do it to you and I can't, I won't let that happen to you Honey."

"Is that why you were so against my being a decoy in the Strip Strangler case?"

"Partly. Mostly it was because every time I see a victim with any physical similarity to you, my heart stops until I can look across the crime scene and see you. I want you there, but at the same time I want to protect you, even if you don't want or need it from the nightmares we face everyday. Plus we know these creeps come back to scenes and I don't want you to be the next victim."

Suddenly so much of Grissom's behavior over the last six years since her coming to Vegas made sense. For the second time that morning her mouth formed into a silent 'O.' Grissom released one of her hands to reach up and gently tap her chin until her mouth shut.

Grissom looked at his watch and noticed the time. "Now you need to get some sleep because we have to work tonight." He released her other hand and stood up. She stood up too, was going to walk him to the door, but stopped when she saw more boxes in the evidence box. He saw the question she wanted to ask clearly written on her face. "That's all for today Sara the rest will have to wait. Now make sure you lock up and then head to bed. I'll see you at work in a few hours."

Sara watched Grissom leave and wondered what was in those boxes, but found herself yawning. Yet how in the world could she sleep after all that had happened and knowing that there was more to come.


	6. Chapter 6

Spoilers: Should only be tidbits from aired episodes of season 6.

Disclaimer: GSR isn'tmine, but I hope you enjoy this story anyway.

* * *

Walking down the Crime Lab corridor in her peripheral vision Sara caught fragments of her reflection in the lab's glass windows. She wondered if the others would notice the difference. For the first time in a long time she'd gotten more than a couple of hours of sleep. It had been ages since she'd felt this rested and happy. Even after spending more time than normal on her clothes and makeup she had still arrived earlier than normal, but not so early that anyone would notice. 

She'd chosen her clothes and make-up carefully, choosing a soft pink long sleeved scooped neck sweater that made her feel feminine and pretty that she paired with brown jeans and boots. Nervously she pushed her hair behind her ears, but found it soon replaced by a smile when she caught the glint of silver on her left wrist.

In all the fantasies she'd woven over the years of what Grissom would be like as a date, boyfriend and lover, some how she'd never really to see a sentimental and romantic side. It was refreshing to discover that there were depths to his personality and identity that she had yet to explore. This afternoon when she'd woken up and was certain that her memory of the morning was mistaken, she had found the bracelet and charms still on the coffee table.

Sitting on the same couch they'd shared that morning she'd attached each charm. Sara took that time to remember what he'd said, how he'd said and how he'd looked. When she had fastened the clasp around her wrist she had remembered his story and wondered if someday she'd have kids who wanted to hear the stories from her charm bracelet. Grissom had given her a priceless gift a way to remember their past without anger or sadness. The shiny A-plus winked at her and she knew his mom was right, anytime she missed Grissom she could look at the bracelet and always remember him because of this special gift.

Grissom's office door was open and he was sitting behind his desk reviewing case files. Sara didn't immediately announce her presence she wanted to take a few minutes to drink in his presence. He was wearing one of her favorite blue button up shirts. She loved how the color would set off his eyes, so the blue was more intense than normal, while making his graying hair look distinguished instead of old.

Leaning against the door frame watching him work she wondered if for all her dreams and wishing if she was getting in over her head. Catherine's voice had been echoing in her mind and dreams for months now repeating over and over again "Lovers and coworkers. It never works." Watching him she thought about their situation and what Catherine had said. Sara had seen enough office relationships go sour to be realistic, but some did work. They worked because the couple not only took the risk, but made the choices necessary to make it work.

Thinking back to his confession to Dr. Luhrie she remembered how Grissom had said he couldn't risk it, yet he had risked his career for her when Ecklie wanted to fire her, which proved he could. After what he had admitted hours ago Sara suddenly saw their situation in a whole new light. It had never been about him making a choice between his career and her, but about whether she valued him enough to choose him over work because he thought her decision to stay in Vegas had been about the job not because of him.

Sara had spent a lot of energy fighting him about the PEAP sessions, but now all she wanted was to hug and thank Grissom for making her go. By finally dealing with her family tragedy she was applying the lessons and ideas she learned from those sessions so they could finally move forward. When Grissom pulled off his glasses and rubbed his eyes she decided he needed a break. She knocked on the door frame noticing how the charms added a little metallic clinking sound. Lifting his head it was obvious the moment he realized it was her when the professional veneer slipped and she noticed that same twinkle in his smile and eyes he'd had this morning.

"So did you take your own advice and get any sleep?" She asked as she took the chair across the desk.

"Yes I did, but I need to get through some of this paperwork so I can be off on Christmas night."

"What a coincidence I'm off Christmas night too. So you have any plans?"

"Well that depends on a couple things."

"Oh, like what?"

"Well on you really. I'll have to change my plans if more groveling is needed before you'll accept my apology?"

Sara blinked stunned speechless. "I don't need you to grovel. I've had more than enough selfish boyfriends groveling for forgiveness to last me a lifetime." Sitting forward, resting her arms on the edge of his desk. "This morning meant more to me than any amount of groveling could because you gave me an honest, sincere and heart felt apology and I accept it, but Griss that doesn't magically get rid of the issues."

He smiled and leaned forward matching her body language. "I know. All I'm asking is that we don't let the past keep us from finding a place we can move forward from." She nodded in agreement and he loved how her eyes crinkled when she smiled.

"So do you already have plans for your days off?"

"Not really. Why?"

"It has to do with the remaining boxes. See I have a plan, but I will change it if you don't like it or it's going too fast or something."

"Okay. So without spoiling 'the Plan' can you give me a hint?"

He sat back, gauging her expression while considering how much to reveal. Cynthia had suggested that he be mysterious, but not scary and that seemed like sound advice. "Each box represents something I should have said, done or shared with you years ago and would like to do with you now. There's one box for every year you've been in Vegas including the upcoming one. My plan was that each day you get to open one box and we'll have whatever adventure is in that box." Sara sat back in the chair and stared at him as if he'd grown a second head or a third eye. "Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah it is. It's more than okay." She replied slowly before smiling that special smile. The thought that Grissom had put into this was amazing and it made her feel special and valued. The smile morphed into a grin when she realized that she had seven boxes at home waiting to be opened and shared. This year she wouldn't be spending the holidays alone, because he'd given her the best present ever, a week to enjoy his company. "So you'll be coming over after work?"

"Yeah I will."

Standing up Sara headed for the door, stopping long enough to grin at him over her shoulder before winking. "Good. Then I'll see ya later Gil."

Gil Grissom was very grateful he hadn't been sipping coffee when she had said his given name in that slightly flirty breathless way or he would have choked on it. This was going even better than he imagined. Now he just hoped that everything went as planned when she opened the first box in the morning.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Thanks for the positive feedback, it's great and I appreciate it.

* * *

Grissom was finishing up the paperwork that had been handed in tonight when he heard the familiar knock and metallic tinkle. His mind retrieved a memory to tease him with so that for an instant he was back in front of the Hotel Monaco studying the dummies Nick had dropped, when he heard that voice. He hadn't had to turn around then and he didn't need to lift his head now to know it was Sara. There was no scientific reason for why he could find her unerringly at any time like a compass pointing north, but he could and had been able to since that first meeting.

"Come in." Grissom signed off on the last case file. He was glad it had been a slow night so he could stay and finish this up tonight since everything had taken three times as long since Sara had walked into his office in that little Santa suit. At odd times the memory would assault his senses, reminding him of her last visit which left him thinking about his plan. He wished not for the first time that someone other than Cynthia the nice sales woman had assured him that Sara would like everything. She'd seemed pleased when she left at the start of shift.

It had been a very quiet night with only a couple trick rolls, so he was able to stay in his office and work on the paperwork finally clearing his paper and e-mail In Boxes, while he sent Greg and Sara on the field assignments. Each time a new call came in he said a silent prayer, hoping that the cases would stay simple and not intrude on his plans for Sara by forcing them to stay and work or upsetting her. Dayshift and Swing were both short handed since Ecklie and the Sheriff had given most of the staff time off to spend the holidays with their families. Catherine, Warrick and Nick had all taken the offered time off and would be working New Year's leaving Greg, Sara and Grissom to cover this week. Catherine and Warrick would return to the lab Christmas night which was why Gil and Sara could both be off. Then Nick would return a couple days later in time to let Greg off.

Sara dropped the new file for the case she just closed into Grissom's empty 'In box.' "Sorry."

He grunted as he pulled it out to review it quickly, but then shoved it back in the box. "Shift's over and it will still be there tomorrow." Tucking a strand of hair behind her ears they both smiled at the tinkling bracelet. "So how do you want to do this?" Her expression was quizzical, but she remained silent allowing him to explain. "Have breakfast somewhere then go to your place for the present or something else? Your choice."

* * *

Sitting across from Sara eating breakfast Grissom was pleasantly surprised. He'd gotten the impression after a case a few years ago that Sara didn't cook, but the breakfast he was eating said otherwise. Taking another bite of the Lemon Ricotta Pancakes topped with lemon curd and blue berries, Grissom wondered what other hidden talents she had.

"This is really good and you said you made the lemon curd yourself?"

"Thanks." Sara shrugged off the compliment. "I've taken to buying lemons every time I go to the store, but when we don't have any decomps I have to find other ways to use them. So when I saw the show on foodtv I tried it."

"You watch cooking shows?"

"Anything to go to sleep." She admitted turning her long time battle with insomnia into a joke. While Sara was sleeping better than she had in years it still wasn't the six or eight peaceful hours that was considered normal. For her getting through three hours was normal and five when she had her less troublesome nightmares.

Grissom wanted to ask if she still heard victim screams, did she still have nightmares about the cases they worked or ones about her past, but in his mind this was their first step into dating and pushing on Sara's emotional buttons would not be a good way to start the morning when he had more pleasant plans in mind.

"So Gil what's in the box?" Sara smiled as she took a sip of her water. It still felt weird to call Grissom by his first name, but it was her way of separating the man at play from the boss at work.

"It's the second half of your first present." He loved watching her brown eyes, but hated the confusion and doubt in them.

"You shouldn't have, really it's too much and I haven't done anything to deserve it." In that instant he wondered how many people before him had hurt Sara and why he'd never noticed it before. She'd finally confessed about her father's death and he'd heard about Pettrigrew's betrayal through gossip at work, but he sensed there was more that there were buried secrets and pain she hadn't shared with anyone yet.

"Sara you deserve all this and so much more. You've given me so much over the years and this isn't even a hundredth of what you deserve." She was looking down at her plate trying not to cry, she couldn't imagine what he thought she'd given him, but she didn't want to spoil the mood by asking.

Taking a deep cleansing breath she looked up and gave him a wan smile. "So I'm all done with my breakfast can I open my box now?" He nodded mesmerized as her smile grew into a happy grin. She'd been dying to know what was in the boxes ever since getting over her initial shock yesterday afternoon.

Together they left the breakfast dishes where they were and settled down on her couch. The evidence box took up most of the coffee table, but they found places to set coasters with her water and his coffee. Looking into the large box she finds a smaller box marked with a number 1. She held it up for his inspection, but Gil only smiled and nodded watching as with shaky fingers she pulled off the box top. She stared at the contents, nestled on something black were a pair of tickets and a small note written note card. Picking it up she read it out loud.

"Sara, when you asked me to dinner I wasn't able to accept because I needed an emergency medical procedure." She turned to look at him. "Your hearing?" She asked more to confirm. The idea that she had missed something else about his health was unsettling.

"Yes I had surgery to fix it. How did you know?" He was surprised that she'd known what he was referring to.

"Gil Grissom how long was I a CSI before I came to Las Vegas?" Her tone was slightly annoyed as she stood up and paced. "I worked in the San Francisco Crime Lab for five years. Where I managed to get to CSI Level two without any of your help. I could put two and two together then and still could when I began to work for you." Sara was getting more upset by the minute. "You really think I didn't notice how you started calling less and writing more. Or notice how you'd drift away, miss what we said, started avoiding cases so you didn't have to testify, or your sudden fascination with everyone's lips." Sara's voice quieted a little. "It was bad enough the way Philip Gerard helped that barracuda go after us, after the team, but what they tried to do to you." Sara was no longer quivering with rage when she turned back to face him.

"Did the others' know?"

"I don't know, but I doubt it. I wasn't about to talk to anyone else about it and risk ruining your career. Besides I've always paid more attention to you than most people do to their boss. Do you know how Ecklie takes his coffee?"

"Uhm no." He laughed. "You're right. I should have known you would figure it out and trusted you then. I'm sorry."

Just that easily the rest of Sara's anger faded as she saw how her points had hit home. Sitting back down on the couch she smoothed the note which she'd crumpled a little in the flush of anger. "So where were we? Oh yeah. I would like to make that up to you by taking you to dinner in Paris before shift and then take you to new heights." She looked at him. "New heights? Pretty sure of yourself there Grissom for someone who isn't a member of the mile high club." She giggled at his playful frown.

"Just look at the rest of the clues." Sara handed him the note card then turned her attention back to the contents of her present.

"Two tickets to ride the elevator to the top of the Eiffel Tower." She handed those to Gil so she could pull the black fabric from the bottom of the box. Unfolding it to reveal the softest black scarf she'd ever seen. Turning it so she could see the attached tag she gasped softly. "A cashmere scarf?" Wrapping the scarf around her neck, Sara thought it was just like in the movie. Sara was getting things from her Christmas list in unexpected ways. "You bought me a cashmere scarf." Her eyes narrowed as she remembered the box that he said was the other part of this present. "So what's in the other box? A dress?"

"You'll just have to open it to see."

Curious Sara bounded over to where Gil had left the other box. Opening it up and pulling out a beautiful and fashionable black wool coat. It was elegant and sleek, exactly the kind of jacket she'd want for an evening in Paris. Even if tonight Paris was just a restaurant on the strip and the Eiffel Tower a Vegas miniature of the French landmark. "Gil it's beautiful. Thank you."

"It's time for me to go because unlike some people Ms. Sidle I need my beauty sleep. I'll be by about 7:30 for our date because our reservation is for 8:00. Make sure you bring a change of clothes for work." Sara nodded and with a quick brush of his hand against hers he was gone.

Sara stood looking at the front door for several minutes as his voice kept repeating in her head. "Our date." After all these years she was dating her boss. She'd be dating Gil Grissom. The nervousness she'd felt when she'd asked him out was nothing to what she felt now.

Mentally she began creating a list of what she'd need. Spare clothes. Check she had a bag already packed in the car. She'd need

something nice to wear and wondered if she had anything in her closet that would work in a pinch. Quickly reviewing the contents of her closet Sara decided against each article of evening wear she did own. Tonight should be special and she didn't want to wear a pants suit or her black cocktail dress. Blowing out a sigh she faced the fact that if she wanted to create an impression she'd have to go shopping.

* * *

"Hi. Catherine. I really hate to bug you at home, but I need your help. I need a dress for a date at the Eiffel Tower restaurant for tonight."

On the other end of the line the red head nearly dropped the phone. If Sara was asking her co-worker for help than the date was important to her. For Catherine those facts added up to one thing Gil. "Don't worry. Together we'll find something that will knock Gil's socks off. Remember two intelligent women." She didn't get to finish the sentence before Sara interrupted.

"But I didn't…" Catherine could almost hear Sara blushing through the phone.

"Honey I've known this day would come from the first time I saw you two together. I'm just glad he's finally gotten his head out of the microscope. I warned him when he sent that plant that he'd better act because you wouldn't stay around forever. I'm glad he finally listened. Now let me make a quick call and then I'll pick you up."

"Right." Sara agreed and Catherine managed not to chuckle that Sara had been reduced to mono-syllable responses.

"I'll see you in twenty minutes. Okay?"

"Kay." Sara set down the phone once she realized Cath was gone and she was listening to a dial tone. Trying not to count the minutes until the older woman arrived or think about tonight's date.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Still not mine, still might contain season 6 spoilers and it was written quickly and not beta'd so any mistakes are my own.

* * *

"Grissom." He answered the phone with one hand while unlocking his front door with the other.

"Why is it I learn that you're taking Sara to the Eiffel Tower Restaurant from her and not from you?"

"Catherine."

"Well." He listened as she turned her own keys in the front door. "I'm listening."

"It sort of happened unexpectedly."

"Uh huh. So I'm picking her up to buy a dress for tonight. Is there anything I need to know?"

He sighed on the other end of the phone, "I didn't think that going out to dinner would mean she had to go buy a dress."

"Gil, sometimes women like buying something new for dates. So is this a one time thing or what?"

Silently swearing under his breath he decided to tell Catherine the plan before she decided to sleuth it out. When he finished he waited for her response.

"Wow Gil. When you decide to do something you don't do it halfway."

"So you think she'll like it?"

"Oh yeah. Sara will love it. Hey look I'm getting close to her place. Get some sleep and I'll drop by later okay?"

"Thanks Cath for everything."

Turning off her cell phone and parking in a visitor space. Catherine felt a little jealous, Sara was not only getting the guy she loved, but it turned out beneath that unemotional demeanor lay an incredibly romantic guy.

* * *

Catherine guided Sara through the mall aiming for the one store that she felt the younger woman would be comfortable buying a dress from. Standing in front of the Coldwater Creek window Sara smiled and acknowledged Catherine had been right about this store, she liked everything she saw in the window. It was the perfect blend of casual comfort and femininity. Following Catherine through the store Sara tried to ignore the price tags and just select dresses she liked. Shopping that way was almost counter-intuitive, she'd spent too many years bargain hunting and saving every penny to change her ways now.

When Sara stepped out of the dressing room in the silk paisley dress, Catherine smiled, while this wasn't the perfect dress for tonight, it was a perfect dress for the brunette. "You should get that one too." Sara nodded absently. The dress like the five before it was beautiful and she felt beautiful in it, but it didn't have the right affect for tonight.

Changing out of the dress into the next one she wondered if they would find the right one. Slipping into the amethyst velvet Sara knew she'd found it, the dress she would wear to dinner. Walking out of the room again she wanted Catherine's perspective.

"Oh Sara. It's perfect."

"I thought so too." Sara looked at the ground shyly. "I was thinking of taking a couple of the others too."

Catherine grinned, Gil would have no idea what hit him once she was done with Sara. "That's a great idea." Already planning ahead, Catherine decided to help Sara get shoes, accessories, jewelry and makeup. It was time the CSI 'ugly duckling' learned how to effectively use her sensuality and sexuality to get what she wanted. Sara already had so much going for her that all Catherine needed to do was polish it and encourage Sara and the men of Las Vegas especially Gil Grissom wouldn't know what hit him.

* * *

It was 7:15 and Grissom was sitting in his car, reviewing the plan he had worked out with Catherine. Sitting on the front seat was the bouquet she'd help him buy. Other beaus might have brought her roses or orchids but the combination of red tulips and blue iris was unique and dynamic just like Sara. Catherine had assured him that he looked debonair in his black suit, white dress shirt and navy tie. Looking at his watch he saw that two minutes had passed, she'd waited more than a decade for him to make his move, but he couldn't wait any longer to get this date started.

Knocking on the door he held out the flowers waiting for Sara to open the door. Looking through her peep hole she had a few seconds to compose herself. Grissom was wearing her favorite court suit and looked very nervous. It was comforting to know that she was the only one with jitters. Opening the door she invited him in. "I'm almost ready."

"You look gorgeous." She smiled and looked at the flowers. "Oh, these are for you."

"Thank you they're beautiful. I'll just go put them in water."

"Beauty is an exquisite flower, and its perfume is virtue. Giovanni Ruffini." It was such a typical Grissom moment that Sara nearly laughed out loud. She took the flowers and walked to her kitchen to grab a vase. Grissom finally drink in the whole affect of the vision of Sara dressed to the nines.

Sara was wearing an amethyst velvet dress that draped in the front, exposing creamy skin and a hint of cleavage. She looked stunning with her upswept hair and amethyst and silver earrings. As she padded from the kitchen to her bedroom and back out into the living area he noticed she was still barefoot and didn't wear one of her customary necklaces, but carried her shoes in her hand.

"Could you?" Sara asked handing him the amethyst pendant necklace. "The clasp is a little tricky."

Their hands brushed as he took the offered necklace. Stepping closer he breathed in her scent noticing the faintest scent of vanilla and roses wafting off the back of her neck. Fastening the clasp Grissom tried to ignore the various desires and fantasies running through his mind. Reminding his libido that it wasn't the right time, yet. Clearing his throat he stepped back and Sara slipped into her heels. "Are you ready?"

Grabbing the wool jacket, cashmere scarf, and a small evening bag. She did not speak for fear the part of her that wanted to point out that she'd been ready for more than three years would speak and she knew that wouldn't be helpful so Sara nodded instead. With his hand on the small of her back Gil guided her out of her home and into the Las Vegas night.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: CSI isn't mine, but hope you enjoy it anyway.

* * *

Staring at the phone Catherine Willows continued the internal debate that had been running on and off since the night shift had started a couple hours ago. She was dying to know how the date went and wanted to call Sara and Gil. Like most of the team she had watched the frustrating and awkward relationship dance between her two favorite geeks for years and now that things were finally happening she wanted an update. It was like watching a really good soap opera. You know that the couple belongs together, but watched fascinated as 'the powers that be' keep them separated with various plot devices.

Her blue eyes strayed back to the phone and the debate changed. She wondered how much more information she could really get out of the pair if she talked to them in person, which meant going to the Lab. It was very, very early Christmas morning, her mom was here, Lindsey wouldn't be up for hours and shift was probably really slow. It had been a while since she'd had a nice long personal conversation with either Gil or Sara. Having talked herself into the course of action she slipped back into comfortable clothes and tennis shoes, grabbed her purse and car keys and headed off to get some answers.

Of the pair she sought, Sara was the first one she found. Her head was bent as she reviewed a case file, her brown hair hanging like a curtain hiding her from the lab. "So did you have a good time?"

Lifting her head slightly to look at Catherine Sara smiled, "I thought you were off tonight?"

"Oh I am, but I thought you might need a friend?" Catherine watched Sara's eyes and face noticing the shifted subtle shift as each emotion and thought were clearly written there. It was only the combination of Catherine's investigative skills and long exposure to Sara that made it possible to identify the fear, confusion, suspicion and reluctance Sara was feeling. After this afternoon when everything had seemed better, seeing Sara's fear was like a sucker punch. A reminder that not everything had been settled between them. "Sara." Catherine stepped into the room and stood closer to the younger woman. "I think Gil's not the only one who should apologize for things that have happened since you came to Vegas. If I can clear it with the boss are you willing to grab a cup of coffee with me so we can talk?"

Sara blinked a couple times trying to decide if she was hallucinating or if there was an underlying subtext she was missing. "Um yeah sure." She answered finally a little confused by the change in Catherine's tone and demeanor.

"Be right back." The red head strode away from the room heading to Gil's office and had her cell out and ringing Grissom's cell within a couple steps of the layout room.

"Grissom."

"Can I steal Sara for a while?"

"Why?" He asked reminding himself that the last time she'd called and taken Sara somewhere. He'd gotten to see Sara in a gorgeous dress as much a princess in person as her name meant.

"You're not the only one who needs to make things right with her."

"Cath?"

"Look I just went to talk with Sara about how dinner went. She's afraid of me." Taking in a deep shuddering breath she glanced down the hall in the direction of the approaching footsteps. His understanding blue gaze caught hers and together they turned off their phones and walked into his office. She entered first, taking a seat across from his desk, while he shut the door and sat in the seat next to her. "We nearly lost Nicky." She blew out a breath as she tried to regain the composure she felt slipping away. "Tonight I suddenly realized that we screwed up big pal, because somewhere along the way we lost Sara. I need to make it right Gil."

He watched her silently for a minute. So he hadn't been the only one having trouble 'seeing' Sara? It explained why his 'best friend' hadn't kicked his ass earlier about Sara. Why Jim was the one who'd come to Gil with some obscure concerns about Sara's welfare and the possibility of burnout last year, instead of Catherine. Why Catherine had sided with Ecklie after her yelling match with Sara. That alone could be reason enough for Sara to be afraid of sharing with Catherine. "Cath I need to know what you're planning on discussing with her."

"Gil?"

"As Sara's supervisor I need to know that this is NOT gonna be a repeat the mail order bride case."

"No, but that's one of the things we need to talk about. I'm not going to hurt Sara, believe it or not she's part of my family too and it's about time I let her know that."

"Catherine, if Sara's not able or willing to share about something please just don't push. There are things there that are better left undisturbed."

He felt her weighing gaze as she let his words sink in. Saw the little 'oh my God' look she got on cases where kids were hurt turn into the protective mama bear mask. "Is it bad?" She asked in a small hurt voice he hadn't heard since Nick's abduction.

"What's she has told me is bad enough, but I think there's worse to come."

"I didn't…." She started and stopped. "Poor Sara, we just all assumed that it was just empathy and feminism that had those cases getting to her. She never even once hinted at anything terrible in her past. I didn't think…" He nodded in understanding and took her hand in his own. Catherine smiled at the show of support, not trusting her voice to continue as the tears filled her eyes again. If Gil who had seen so much pain and suffering described Sara's history as bad then that told his friend a lot. "I won't. I promise."

"It's been a slow night take all the time you need. If any cases come in Greg and I can handle them. "

"Thanks."

* * *

Sitting across from Catherine at the diner with her fingers wrapped around the cup of hot chocolate Sara wasn't sure which apology surprised her more Gil's or Catherine's. Looking up from the dark liquid she smiled at the older woman. "Apology accepted. I'm sorry too." 

"So now that that is out of the way, you going to tell me about dinner?"

"You never give up."

"Nope. Sooooo?"

"It was nice."

"Nice? Give me details girl."

Sara laughed and realized she'd missed this; it had been years since she had a buddy to talk like this with.

"He arrived early. I answered the door in bare feet. Is that what you want to hear?"

"Bare feet huh. Good girl. I bet his eyes popped out of his head. The only thing better would be if you had him help you with a necklace." Sara blushed. "This gets better and better."

"What?"

"Honey you really don't have a clue." Catherine chuckled and shook her head. "Sara you are beautiful, intelligent, and have everything you need to make men drool, but never apply it. I mean look at the guys at the lab."

"What about them?"

"Have you ever noticed how your results always get done first? That Greg, David, Archie, Ronnie, Bobby and even Hodges practically fall over themselves trying to get a single smile. How distracted the guys get when you're working a perimeter? Then Gil goes all artic anytime some guy even seems to be making a move on you."

Sara's mouth had dropped. "Are you sure?"

"Oh yeah. Sara in school you were the tallest girl in your class right and the little boys couldn't handle a smart, tall, pretty girl right?"

"Yeah."

"Well now those are your best features. You aren't an ugly duckling anymore, now if you just played to those features…" Catherine didn't need to elaborate.

"I don't think I could. It's just not my style."

"You don't have to do it all the time, but it's nice to see that appreciative gleam every once in a while right?"

"Why does this sound like it means more shopping?"

Catherine chuckled. "So tell me more about last night."

"He took me to the Eiffel Tower restaurant, but you already knew that. Then Grissom ordered the vegetarian plate a Baked Cassoulet of Twelve Vegetables and iced teas for both of us. We talked about everything, but work. We took a ride to the top of the Tower to see the Strip all lit up. Then he brought me to work."

"Sounds romantic."

"Yeah it was." Sara looked back at her chocolate she didn't want to tell Catherine that even in such a romantic setting Grissom hadn't kissed her. Really kissed her. Except for that one part, the date had been perfect.

"Wonder what he'll do for an encore." Catherine asked sipping her coffee and watching Sara. The younger woman should have been bouncing with excitement, but wasn't. Catherine need to talk to Gil to see what he'd missed. "So how bout we head back."

* * *

"Grissom what the hell did you do?" 

He looked up; Catherine was angry which didn't make any sense to him. "What's up?"

She shut his door and leaned over his desk choosing not to sit, which was never a good sign. "You took Sara on a really romantic date. She should be walking on cloud nine, but she's not. Why?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. He'd never liked having Catherine involved in his love life, but it was one of those things he'd gotten used to during their friendship. "I thought she had a good time."

"Good yes, but not great. You gave her the flowers right?" He nodded, watching her pace the room as she examined the evidence. "Drove the Mercedes instead of the SUV?" He nodded again. "Opened the door, held out her chair and all that?" She tried to think of any other way he could have screwed it up. "Bad kiss?"

"Uhm." She watched as his discomfort increased by a thousand percent.

"You did kiss her?"

"If you kiss on the first date and it's not right, then there will be no second date. Sometimes it's better to hold out and not kiss for a long time. I am a strong believer in kissing being very intimate, and the minute you kiss, the floodgates open for everything else."

"Well what idiot said that?"

"Jennifer Lopez." Of all the people he could have quoted a former Fly Girl wasn't what she expected.

"Yeah well you might wanna tell Ms. Sidle that."

"I will." He promised. Wondering how he could work it into the conversation.


	10. Chapter 10

AN: As I've said before CSI isn't mine (sigh). It does containsmall spoilers from season 5, but I don't think it hasany from 6 or at least none that are big anyway. Well hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it since the only payoff I get is getting your reviews letting me know what you think. Thanks for reading.

* * *

Sara crossed her threshold with Grissom in tow when it suddenly dawned on her the truth of the adage what a difference a day makes. She thought about how much had changed since last week, since this time yesterday and how some things which she'd started assuming would always be in the realm of fantasy now had the possibility of being a reality. Grissom helped her take off her coat then she waited for him to take of his. The leather jacket was smooth on the outside, but she could feel his warmth and smell his scent wafting up to her. If she'd been alone she might have indulged in slipping the jacket on or deeply inhaling. Gil was standing close by so both indulgences were ignored as she draped their jackets over the back of a chair and slipped her nervous hands into the pockets of her jeans. "So should I make breakfast?"

He shook his head in the negative. Last night had gone well, but he was nervous about his plan for today. Regardless of what the romantic date dot org said, he wasn't just sure about this. He'd taken other women out to dinner in restaurants and had known what to expect. Not that dinner with Sara had been anything like those other dates. He suspected that if work called Sara would have been at the very least disappointed yet understanding. More than likely she probably would have offered to come in turning a case into an extension of the date. Conversation between them had been easy, not strange or strained as they spoke about everything but work and forensics and unlike his dinner with Sophia he hadn't spent the whole evening listening to someone else talk either.

He remembered how badly his date with Charlotte had gone, but that same experience had been lots of fun with a different woman. If he was honest with himself he'd gone out with the fingerprint tech because he was missing Sara. He hadn't forgotten Charlotte's advice though and at some point he had every intention of pinning Sara to a wall and lay one on her like he meant it. Dating and ideas for dates weren't something that came easily for him, so he hoped the online research was right because he had no frame of reference for creating a hypothesis on how this would go over. He wanted her to enjoy it since he would be sharing something with Sara that he rarely shared with anyone.

"Okay. So should I open my present?" Sara was getting more nervous as the seconds passed by and Grissom said nothing. He was looking at her, but it seemed more like he was looking past her and not really seeing her.

"Not yet. First I owe you an apology and an explanation." Her face was a mirror of her curiosity she couldn't think of anything else Grissom had to apologize for. She didn't tell him that though, she was learning that Gil was worth the wait because he kept surprising her with what he said as long as she gave him time to say what he was thinking. "Last night was the most romantic date I've ever been on, but I realized that I need to explain why I didn't kiss you." Sara sat on the couch barely breathing for fear of what he would say next. "See last night was the right place and the right people, just the wrong time, which is why I didn't kiss you."

When he was silent for a few minutes, Sara asked the question that was burning in her heart. "Why was it the wrong time?" She couldn't imagine a wrong time except maybe at the lab or a crime scene.

"A beautiful woman once said that 'If you kiss on the first date and it's not right, then there will be no second date. Sometimes it's better to hold out and not kiss for a long time. I am a strong believer in kissing being very intimate, and the minute you kiss, the floodgates open for everything else." He let his voice drift off into silence. Watching as she tried not to smile, but seeing the smirk that was playing at her lips.

"So who said that?"

"Jennifer Lopez." There was no holding back the smile or the laugh that bubbled out.

"You were taking romantic advice from J-Lo?" Of all the possible reasons Grissom might have had for not kissing her last night that was the last one she ever expected to hear.

"Well," he shuffled his feet embarrassed and unable to meet her eyes so he spoke to the floor. "It's just I could understand the sentiment and I really wanted a second date so…."

When she didn't respond to his silence he looked up slowly to see Sara's mouth formed a silent 'O' again. Grissom was starting to find it absolutely adorable because in all their years of friendship and work he'd never encountered a speechless Sara Sidle. She usually had some snappy comeback that would roll off her tongue or she would be over talking waiting for her brain to catch up with her mouth.

He didn't tell her that there was a war between his heart, his mind and his lust. That the primal earthy male who lusted after her knew that once they crossed that line they wouldn't be going back because the floodgates would open and he would make Sara his in everyway. His heart would remind him that she deserved to be courted and cherished while his rational brain suggested caution and holding back because he was worried about Sara and didn't want to rush her into anything.

After her revelation about her father's death, he'd begun to re-think his perspective on why certain cases upset her. In the past he'd always written it off to empathy, compassion or feminism. Only now did he realize it was more than that, Sara understood what the victim was feeling because she'd lived through it. If domestic violence upset her because it was a reminder of what happened in childhood, were the rape cases a reminder of something else that might have happened. He felt sick as he always did when he thought that someone might have violated Sara. He didn't know, he couldn't ask yet and he wouldn't screw this up by moving too fast and scaring her. Swearing to himself that he would do everything in his power to protect her from that.

Sara looked up at him, he'd closed the distance so he stood over her. Grissom on any day was hard to resist, but when Gil said something so sweet and stupid in such a sincere way she was totally lost. Plus he'd also implied not only that he wanted more dates, but that he had given some thought to kissing her. If he planned their first kiss as well as he'd planned their first date, she was certain it would be one to remember and well worth waiting for.

"So can I open my present now?"

"Nope. I have something for you first." He pulled something out of his pocket. "Thank you for last night even without a first kiss it's a memory I'll always treasure." Opening his hand, he revealed another silver charm sitting there; a delicate miniature of the Eiffel Tower. "This way you can always remember our first date and we'll always have Paris."

The kiss or lack of one was immediately forgotten by the sweetness of the gesture. "I'll treasure it always."

"Good. Now you can open your present." He winked and grinned as he handed her an envelope.

Pulling out the unsealed flap Sara stared at the note that had been inside. "A whole day of amusement for Sara. The clues for this adventure include French food, popcorn, baseballs, balloons, tickets and New York."

She looked up at him waiting for an explanation since there wasn't any note attached.

"Years ago I told you to get a diversion and that you deserved a life." Sara nodded to let him know she remembered. "Then you started dating Hank and doing things like going to the movies and vineyards with him. I know I confused you. I was glad you were doing as I asked, but jealous that you were getting a life and that it was without me." He picked up her hand and entwined his fingers with hers. "What I didn't and couldn't say then was maybe we could help each other do that."

"What did you have in mind?" Sara smirked when she meant his intense gaze.

"Well a couple of years ago I gave you an entomological book because I wanted to share that with you. I was thinking today you might like to continue that sharing."

"Sounds great, but what do you have in mind?"

"You'll see. How bout you grab a change of clothes and we'll head out."

Sara was curious, but decided to do as he asked instead of pestering him with questions.

"Since have some time until we can go to our destination, how bout we go have breakfast?"

"Wow dinner and breakfast Griss." She winked at him as he wrapped one firm hand around the one she held her overnight bag in. He shrugged his shoulders instead of answering, there was no menace in her tone, but it was a subtle reminder that he had plenty to make up for and his mother had instilled in him a need to pay his debts.


	11. Chapter 11

AN: My apologies that it's so short, but nothing more seemed to want to be added tonight so I hope you enjoy it anyway. CSI and the stuff from Foodtv belongs to others and not to me I'm just borrowing for my own amusement.

* * *

If someone had told Sara last night that watching a man cook could be a serious turn-on she would have thought they were strange. She  
had never found anything sexy or appealing when she watched Alton, Emeril, Tyler or Wolfgang cooking on foodtv, but Gil Grissom was  
quickly changing her opinion. Taking a sip of the sparkling cider from the champagne flute Sara leaned against the kitchen counter.  
She was watching Gil Grissom cook his mother's Christmas French Toast. This was definitely a turn-on and kind of sensual she  
thought as she took another sip of cider. 

With the shirt sleeves of his button up shirt rolled up exposing a tanned and masculine forearm, a dish towel tucked into his slacks  
and a spatula in his hand Sara was definitely enjoying watching his show. The display of muscle and sinew as he squeezed grapefruit  
juice maintaining a delicate balance between firm and bruising pressure on the fruit. The hiss of the egged bread dropping onto  
the hot skillet and the confident way he scooped them off. Each mundane activity seemed to heighten her awareness of him on a  
physical level. Sara kept the cold tile of the counter between them a physical reminder that he had a plan and wanted to wait.

"This is a Grissom family tradition." Sara dragged her eyes from his hands and back up to his face trying to follow what he was  
saying. "Every year Mom makes her famous French Toast." Grissom was plating some of the fried bread and dropping new pieces into the skillet. "It's not your typical French Toast. It's actually a version of a French dessert called Pain Perdu." Sara had realized  
it wasn't typical when she'd watched Grissom whisk half-and-half and buttermilk into his eggs, sugar, salt and vanilla. Then he'd  
dropped thick slices of Brioche into the mixture to soak.

"That means lost bread in French." Grissom smiled he should have known Sara spoke French.

"Yes it does." She watched as in a saute pan he brought some maple syrup to boil. Wondering what he planned with the grapefruit  
sections in his hand, when with an unexpected plop they were dropped into the hot syrup allowing the sections to cook before flipping  
them over. While the grapefruit finished he plated the last of the French Toast. Then poured the hot syrup and grapefruit gently over  
both plates. He watched Sara's eyes as he added with a practiced flick of his wrist large dollops of mascarpone on top.

When he carried both plates over to the dining room table, Sarasmiled at the memory of the first time she'd sat at this table.  
Grissom had gotten overly involved in the Strip Strangler case and been suspended. It wasn't really a pleasant memory, but it was one  
that had given her comfort during her own suspension. Watching him now as he walked around the table, she wondered what her role in his suspension had been. When he walked around the table to pull out her chair, she raised her hand to his arm and kissed his  
cheek. "Grissom I'm sorry too."

He looked at her sharply, "For what Honey?"

"For being reckless, head strong and stubborn. For not listening to you, when you were worried about my safety. You could have lost  
your job during the Strip Strangler case, but I didn't see what was really going on until now. I hope you can forgive me too." A tear  
formed at the edge of her eye, he watched fascinated waiting for it to fall so he could brush it away.

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." His had was gentle where it brushed her cheek.

"Who said that?" She asked softly as she met and held his gaze.

"Paul Boese."

"Oh."

"How bout we finish breakfast and then we'll start working on your day of amusement?"

As she sat, he pushed the chair in and took his place across from her, waiting to see what her reaction to his mother's Pain Purdu  
would be. He'd never made this recipe for anyone else. She cut a bite that had a bit of mascarpone, grapefruit, brioche and maple  
syrup. Holding his breath he waited and watched as her eyes widened in surprised at the blend of flavors. "This is really good I can  
see why it's your Mother's Famous French Toast. I've never tested anything quite like it."

Grissom let the breath out with a smile, "Merry Christmas Sara."

"Merry Christmas Gil." Taking his own bite Grissom smiled wondering if this was the start of a new holiday tradition.

TBC

You can finda recipe for Pain Purdu on the Foodtv site


	12. Chapter 12

AN: Warning: This hasn't been proofed as much as I usually like, but I wanted to get it up tonight. So please enjoy and forgive any errors. Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks

* * *

Grissom grabbed her hand as soon as they exited the car. Sara glanced down at their joined hands. It seemed a little surreal after all the years of waiting, wishing and hoping that it was happening this easily. Smiling at the way his darker one surrounded her paler one in such a way that she felt petite, feminine and safe. For a tall, independent woman who had been forced to rely only on herself for so many years it was unexpected, but gave her such joy and it had been that way since the very first time. Only Grissom made her feel this way. 

Her grin got bigger as she read the signs ahead of them. "New York New York. Home of the Manhattan Express." Sara smiled Grissom was taking her to ride a roller coaster, as far as she knew none of his previous dates or the other CSIs except Warrick had been shown this side of him. "I've never ridden this one, what's it like?"

"You're gonna love it. We'll climb 15 stories, dive 75 feet, go up to 67 MPH. We'll do a 360-degree somersault, a 540-degree spiral and it features the world's first 'heartline' twist." Grissom sounded so animated and excited that even though the idea of dives, twists and somersaults scared the hell out of her she couldn't wait to see him experience a roller coaster ride.

Sara swallowed "As long as the cars stay on the tracks I'll be happy." He smiled down at her and squeezed the hand he was holding.

"I've talked to Darryl the head engineer here over the years and can vouch for their safety." It wasn't surprising that Grissom knew the folks who worked with the coasters. He was the sort to ask questions that only the experts could answer.

"What's the 'heartline' twist like?"

"Like doing a barrel roll in an F-16."

"Really?" They were standing in line at the ticket counter now. Sara rested her forehead against his shoulder as she tried to hide her smile. It was rare for her to see Grissom this excited. She'd seen glimpses of it at work when he was focused on an experiment or evidence that she wanted to savor it. "So is this the one you took Warwick on for his evaluation?"

"He told you about that."

Inhaling the great scent combination of him and the leather jacket, she smiled even more. "People do talk you know." Noticing the tension in his stance she changed tactics since teasing him was obviously making things worse. "I wanted to know what you gave him on his evaluation. How many outstandings and all that, trying to figure out who was Teacher's Pet and it kinda slipped out."

"Teacher's Pet huh?"

"Yeah back when I was seeking validation in inappropriate places."

"You never did explain what you meant by that."

She looked into his eyes wanting him to understand her meaning as well as what she saying. "The PEAP Counselor helped me realize that I can't do this job for other people. I can't do it to please you, to get justice for the victims or try and save my Dad. I have to be the best CSI I can be, because I want it for me." She squeezed his hand trying to tell him that she understood. "I figure that's why you recommended Nicky for that promotion." Whatever response he might have given her was interrupted when it was suddenly their turn to pay the cashier.

Gil decided to let the subject drop, later when there was time and privacy he'd pursue the conversation and get more information. For now he was content to be close to her. Tugging her hand gently, he led her into the Casino's small amusement park. "Come on. I promised you a day of amusement."

She allowed him to lead her through the Arcade and the casino until they reached the line for the Manhattan Express. Standing close together he told her about the history of roller coasters as they waited. It was so strange being with him like this. Looking down at her feet she tried to ignore the nasty little voice that doubted how long this would last, that reminded her how he'd put distance between himself and the team in the past.

The doubting voice was finally quieted when they reached the platform and she slid into the seat next to Grissom. Fastening her seat belt she was shocked when Gil reached across to make sure it was secure. She laughed when he caught her eye.

"What? I don't want you to fall out." He looked maybe ten or fifteen years younger with a happy smile on his lips and in his gleaming blue eyes. Which made her smile more, this was a very special day for Sara Sidle who'd spent so many years alone without close friends and loved ones. She'd always worked as many hours as possible so that she wouldn't have to think about her alone-ness. It was nice though to have someone care about her. Every display of tenderness made her feel special and cherished in a way she hadn't in a long time. Even if it was a little odd to have this tender protective side that she'd seen at work a couple of times before applied to her off hours.

All thoughts about Grissom, work and this date flew out of her mind as the ride began as the car started moving forward. Like the other riders she screamed as the red track took her up and then dived quickly toward the pavement below. She was whipped from side to side and up and down.

As the ride came to a stop she turned to face Gil, the Investigator or Scientist in her wanted to know if her guesses about his reaction. Would his eyes darken? Would his pulse stay under 95? Would the grin she expected reach his eyes? This was her favorite part of any experiment seeing if her theory was accurate or not.

The man sitting next to her was the polar opposite of her dour supervisor. His blue eyes were bright as they twinkled at her. The smile lighting up his face was like none she'd seen before and if she didn't know better she'd swear he was closer to Greg's age than Catherine's. "So was it good for you too?" Blinking a couple times she tried to process his question. "Come on. There's something else I want to do."

"Okay."

Standing in front of the instant photo booth Grissom began dumping cash into the machine before tugging her into the booth and pulling the privacy curtains. "Now. There's something I've been wanting to do." she raised a single eyebrow in silent question. He sat down first and pulled Sara down so she sat on his lap. Her hands slipped to his chest and shoulders in an attempt to keep her balance. The breath she took in was not immediately released when one hand slid up her back, past her neck until his fingers threaded in her hair. While the other first brushed her fingers and hand before moving up her arm to cup her cheek.

"Gil?" She whispered as she noticed the change in his eye color, just before he closed them and leaned forward. The first kiss was soft like the brush of butterfly wings. She noticed the flashes from the camera taking pictures, but it was of less interest than the kisses that followed the first. Kisses that surpassed anything she'd imagined or experienced before.

Finally when she needed a breath Sara pulled back a little. Together they stood up and exited. He handed her the strip of photos. "Now you'll always have evidence of our first kiss."


	13. Chapter 13

AN: CSI isn't mine, but I hope you enjoy my little story anyway.

* * *

Tucking the strip of photos into her purse Sara tried to take a couple of steadying breaths. Her body was still in sensory overload from his kisses and her mind couldn't quite process his words. She could still feel them reverberating through her heart like ripples in a pond. Simple words that seemed to convey so much and imply that this was just the beginning. The first of many kisses to come. 

Sara didn't want to over analyze his words just then. Too many times over the years he'd said something that she'd scrutinize and analyze trying to understand the subtext and real meaning, but which hadn't changed a damn thing between them. Today though she thrust the doubts and questions as far from her mind as possible and focused on his gift; a day of amusement for her.

They managed a few more hours in the arcade where she won him a lucky rabbit's foot. They ate a vegetarian pizza at the pizzeria and rode the Manhattan Express a couple more times before their mutual yawns had them heading back to Gil's townhouse. As he unlocked the door she yawned again. "I thought you didn't sleep."

Rubbing her eyes a little as she pushed her sunglasses up to sit on top of her head. "I sleep."

"Do you still have the nightmares?"

"Yeah." It was only after the answer slipped out that Sara remembered she was also talking to her supervisor. "Gil…" She started to speak again, but he stopped her.

"You once asked me to sleep with you. You remember?" Sara's cheeks flushed at the memory, a rash offer that lead to solving Kay Shelton's case.

"Of course."

"I always regretted not taking you up on that offer." Sara spun around to face him, shocked by the admission. She'd been expecting a lecture or the suggestion that she spend more time with a PEAP Counselor. He handed her the bag with her change of clothes "So how bout you go get ready for bed. I'll be in as soon as I lock up. My room's the last one on the left."

Still in shock that Gil Grissom, the man who hadn't been able to accept her dinner invitation years ago was now suggesting they sleep together. She wandered down the hall unsure what else to do. When she reached 'his room' she gasped in surprise. She'd been expecting it to look like the living room with white walls and butterflies on display, but unlike the rest of the house the master bedroom was not dedicated to entomology for which Sara was grateful.

It was hard to block out the Las Vegas' bright sunshine and heat. Grissom seemed to have found a solution since the room was painted a soothing dark indigo color with matching thick curtains. It might have seemed a bit much to someone else, but Sara liked how it reminded her of the night sky.

Sara didn't notice much more about the room because her attention was riveted on the bed. A very large queen sized cherry wood bed that dominated this part of the room. Grissom's bed. The bed he planned on sharing with her. Setting her bag down on the white comforter Sara suddenly came to a startling realization. She hadn't packed any pajamas!

Gil noticed that Sara hadn't done much towards getting ready for bed. "Sara is everything alright?"

"I wasn't planning on sleeping with you. So I only brought a change of clothes. I don't have any pajamas." She sounded upset and on the verge of tears. He closed the distance and rubbed her back.

"Let me find you something." Walking past her he opened one dresser drawer and then another each time pulling out something. Sara still hadn't moved when he came back. "Your choice a pajama top, a t-shirt and sweats or you could just sleep in your tank top and panties."

Blinking a couple of times Sara found herself wanting to giggle at Gruesome Grissom talking about her underwear in a distant voice like a waiter telling her the specials of the day. "I'll take the t-shirt. Thank you."

"Okay. How about you take the bathroom first and I'll put this stuff away." He tried not to watch her as she went into the bathroom or just stand there waiting for her to come out. So he could see her in the t-shirt. The black cotton knit was a few years old from a Crime Lab Softball season before she came to Vegas. It was one of the smallest he had. From a time when he was fitter and weighed less than he did now, but on Sara's thin frame it would still be very large and reveal her long legs. Grabbing a more recent team shirt and a pair of knit pajama pants he headed to the guest bathroom to prepare for bed.

Sara was tucked under the covers when he got back, part of him was disappointed, but the rest realized it was probably a blessing in disguise since his plan was just to help her get a good night's sleep. Sliding under the blanket he watched as Sara, whose eyes were already closed, took a deep breath that she released slowly. Within minutes her breathing evened out telling him she was sleeping. He was enjoying watching her sleep. The years and tension slipped away and Sara looked like a beautiful angel. It took all his self control not to brush his fingers over her delicate cheekbones or kiss her gently. There were dozens of other things he wanted to do, but wouldn't. When she rolled into his body he groaned silently, this was going to be harder than he thought. It took him a great deal longer to get to sleep and when he did he had vivid dreams about things he always wanted to do to and with Ms. Sara Sidle.

* * *

Sara was awake but she hadn't moved or opened her eyes yet. She wanted to savor this moment, while at the same time committing it to memory so that each impression and sensation from her senses could be recalled in detail. The way his breath tickled as it brushed against her neck in a rhythmic caress. The comforting weight of his arm draped across her waist. The warmth of his body seeping through the t-shirt she was wearing. 

Smiling and blushing Sara remembered her embarrassment when she'd admitted she had no pajamas, the private joy at slipping into his shirt and then into his bed. Two things she'd long ago decided were too fantastic to actually happen, but they had happened she reminded herself. Today was a day of firsts; first roller coaster ride together, first kiss, first photo and the first evening waking up in his arms.

Grissom had finally taken up her offer from years ago and slept with her. There was nothing sexual about it, which instead of disturbing her was actually comforting. She'd had enough one night stands and short term relationships to know that 'this' wasn't about physical attraction and lust. He was the first man to put his biological needs and desires aside and see her as more than just a body to have sex with it. Gil had seen what she needed most and given it to her. Tonight he'd been her safe harbor giving her shelter from the nightmares so she could sleep soundly.

Stretching a little, but careful not to disturb him she realized that she felt more rested than she had in a long time. No screams from the victims or memories of the horrors people inflected on each other had disturbed her while she slept in his arms. She'd dreamt of picnics in the park, a dark haired baby sleeping in a car seat and a small blue eyed boy riding a tricycle. It was a nice change to have fanciful dreams that were both pleasant and soothing. As much as she wanted the kind of happy ending she'd seen in her dreams, she'd been burned enough to not want to rush this. Sara would have laid there without moving forever, but eventually her own biological needs had her slipping carefully out from under Gil's arm and retreating to the bathroom.

The first thing Grissom noticed as he started to wake up was that Sara's side of the bed was cold. The initial panic and fear of a morning after clenched his heart. Where was she? Was she mad? Had he made a mistake going too fast? It took only a few seconds for those thoughts to swirl around his brain before he realized that Sara's bag was where she'd left it and that the noises he was hearing from the bathroom were water from a running shower and Sara singing softly.

Forcing himself to relax he tapped his fingers against the mattress on Sara's side of the bed. One night together and he was already comfortable labeling the side closest to the bathroom as hers. This was unprecedented, mostly because she was the first woman to spend the night at his house. Always before he'd stayed at the woman's house and kept his home private. Catherine liked to tease him about his 'hermit-ically' sealed townhouse. She didn't understand why he preferred to keep his space private, but then Cath was the most open person he knew. He thought Sara might understand and even feel the same way, that home was a sanctuary from the rest of the world.

Now he'd brought part of the world back with him. He was musing on how that line of thinking made him feel when she stepped out of the bathroom in his burgundy robe. Her head was tipped to the side as she dried her hair with a towel. In his entire life he'd never seen anything he'd wanted more. He'd been wrong about not being able to risk his career for her. In that instant years of doubt and fear disappeared because he knew he'd risk everything to keep her safe and happy.

Sara straightened up, surprised to see he was awake and trying not to blush. He'd caught her dripping wet and naked in his robe. There was something so intimate in the moment that Sara knew a line had been crossed and there was no going back. "Hope I didn't wake you."

"No. You slept well?"

"Yes. Do you have a hair dryer? So I can straighten my hair."

"Leave it natural. I like how your hair curls."

"I like yours too." He patted the bed and she walked across to sit down next to him. "So what else do you have planned for my amusement?"

"You hungry?"

"I could eat."

"Then I'll take a shower and get dinner ready. There should be coffee just brewing in the kitchen."

"Okay." Sara sat on the bed running the comb through her wet locks trying to ignore Grissom as he pulled clothes out of various drawers and a navy robe from the closet. Trying to rein in her desire and imagination when the shower started. The temptation was strong to surprise him by getting in after him and showing him one solution for dealing with their attraction. Letting out a deep sigh, Sara grabbed her bag and went down the hall to change in the guest bathroom.

* * *

Sitting on the couch sipping her glass of Pinot Noir listening to a jazz felt very decadent. Sara was torn, but Gil had been adamant about not letting her help clean up even though he'd cooked and it really was only fair that she cleaned up. "Next time." He promised with a quick kiss before pushing her and her wineglass out of his kitchen. Sara closed her eyes, she felt pleasantly full and relaxed. Gil was proving to be a great cook since dinner had been as good as breakfast. The Cheese Enchiladas, green salad, sweet corn and red wine had been unexpected and very good. 

She felt more than heard him enter the room. "Thank you. This was the best Christmas ever."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, but Ms. Sidle you're day of amusement isn't over yet." Sara didn't move or open her eyes as he carefully removed the wine glass from her fingers and set it on the coffee table. "Dance with me?" Opening her eyes she noticed his hand palm side up, as if it was waiting for hers to cover it. She didn't speak, but as their hands met she smiled while he helped pull her up from the couch. The music piping through the stereo speakers had switched to Tony Bennett.

Once she was standing Gil slid his hand along her arm around her waist to rest at the small of her back. Where it was joined by his other hand. Resting over the spot she'd come to think of as his because of all the times at work over the years he would touch her there. They'd been slow dancing for a while when the song changed. Shivers ran up her spine when he began singing softly against her hair. His voice blending beautifully with Tony's.

"Everywhere that beauty glows you are,  
Everywhere an orchid grows you are,  
Everything that's young and gay, brighter than a holiday,  
Everywhere the angels play you are."

Her eyes filled with tears as his words sunk in and she remembered. The ice rink and his beauty comment. The orchid he'd sent to the lab when she'd wanted to leave. He also recalled those times and others including all the chances he'd missed to do something about this earlier. He was silent as Tony sang the next verse picking it up again a few minutes later.

"You're Lake Como when dawn is aglow,  
You're Sun Valley right after a snow.  
A museum, a Persian palace,  
You're my shining Aurora Borealis  
You're like Christmas at home by a tree,  
The blue calm of a tropical sea.  
You're all places that leave me breathless,  
And no wonder: you're all the world to me."

"I'm sorry for wasting so much time and not telling you that sooner Honey." She would have said "Oh Gil," but his lips had already begun kissing a path from her ear to her mouth. If their first kiss had left her breathless than this one left her stunned.

When it was over all she could was rest her head in the crook of his neck. It was all she'd over wanted and more. Even though she hadn't gotten the other things on her Christmas List she'd gotten the one thing she hadn't allowed herself to believe she could get, for this Christmas at least she had Gil Grissom and that was enough.

TBC

* * *

AN: The song is "You're all the world to me" and since it's been sung by Tony Bennett it definitely isn't mine, but it seemed like the kind of thing Grissom would have on hand when he didn't want Classical or Pink Floyd. 


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: Nope don't own them, but really enjoy playing with them.

* * *

One benefit he was discovering to being older than Sara was that he needed less sleep. So while she slept in his bed, he'd gotten up and was sitting in the little reading area in his bedroom catching up on the latest forensic journals. The reading light next to him gave off a soft glow, but wasn't bright enough to disturb Sara's sleep. He felt a surge of pride that she was sleeping so soundly and so well. She hadn't said it, but intuitively he knew that she had gotten more sleep in his bed in the last twenty-four hours than she normally got at home. For years he'd been concerned about her lack of regular sleep. The way she'd work doubles and triple shifts until she was exhausted. As if that was the only way to silence the screams and keep away the nightmares. 

He hadn't really made much progress through the article because every few minutes he'd look up and watch her sleep again. Sara looked even more beautiful asleep than awake. Her dark hair fanning out on the white linens. In sleep the tension she carried during the day disappeared and she looked younger. It was only now that he could see the toll the job was taking on her. Sara loved being a CSI, but each case sucked a little more of her life force away until it seemed that the job was slowly killing her.

She moved in her sleep and whimpered a little. He watched as the face that had been so peaceful suddenly twisted into a pinched mask of pain. One arm stretched out as though she was trying to touch something while in a fragile heart broken voice she whispered "Don't go. Grissom please don't leave me." When she cried with tears ran down her cheeks, he felt moved over to the bed and got in next to her.

"Hush its okay I'm here." He pulled her tightly into his arms.

"Grissom?"

"Yes Honey. I'm here."

"Please don't leave me." She rolled within his arms until they lay face to face. It was then that he noticed she hadn't woken up. "I'm afraid. Everyone always leaves me."

"Sleep sweetheart I'm not going anywhere." He tenderly kissed her forehead. He listened as her breathing grew deep and even. The tension began to seep away and he knew Sara was sound asleep again. In sleep Sara had revealed her greatest fear. Over the years when he'd compiled his lists of reasons why it would never work between them, he'd only thought of his fears, needs, wants and pain. Now as she lay in his arms he admitted that Sara had fears and pains of her own.

She'd told him about the night her mother killed her father in a broad sort of way. At the time he'd been so shocked to learn something so profound about her he hadn't analyzed what she'd told him. In the days after his focus had been on helping her deal with work with such a traumatic experience in her background. As night turned to day he remembered her words, sifting through them like an archaeologist to uncover the hidden meanings and the things she couldn't say.

"There was a smell of iron in the air. Cast-off on the bedroom wall. There was this young cop puking his guts." It wasn't hard with his years of experience processing domestic violence cases that had lead to murder to visualize what the scene might have looked like. He remembered some of the little girls from those scenes. Sara would have had that same wide eye numb look he'd seen too many times to count. In one night she would have lost her home, family and been ripped away from everything she'd known, everything familiar.

Tears slipped down his cheek as he grieved for the little girl she'd been. A child who hadn't been protected and sheltered by her parents. Then violence had thrust her into the world far too young. As a child she would have learned that those you love hurt, disappoint and abandon you. He had admired many things about Sara over the years; her intelligence and dedication. Only now did he gain a greater appreciation and the obstacles she'd overcome. Pulling her closer against his chest he marveled at her inner strength that even after all the terrible things she'd seen Sara still was able to love and willing to risk her heart to be loved.

* * *

The smell of Blue Hawaiian coffee awoke Grissom from a delightful dream where he'd been in some tropical paradise rubbing suntan lotion all over Sara's skin. Slowly his eyes fluttered open, he hadn't wanted to leave the familiar dream, but the lure of coffee had been too great. 

"Morning sleepyhead." Sara's voice got his eyes open the rest of the way. "Coffee? I made it just the way you like it." Once he was sitting up she handed him the mug. "So what do you have planned today? Do we need to stop back at my apartment for another box?"

He smiled as he took another sip of his coffee. Sara was excited and bubbly reminding him more of the girl he'd asked for a favor so long ago. "Aren't we anxious this morning?"

"If today's gift is anything like yesterday's…" With each word her face had gotten closer to his, until her sentence was cut short by her lips touching his. This Sara thought was the best present of all, being able to kiss Grissom. It had taken so long for them to get here, but she was glad he was proving worth the wait.

He pulled back enough to break the kiss so he could set his mug on the nightstand and waited for Sara to do the same. "So I'll get started on breakfast while you shower and get dressed. Then after that I can get ready and we'll head over to your place." She grinned at him as she dropped another quick peck on his lips. Then grabbing her bag she headed into the bathroom.

* * *

Sitting in his Mercedes as the vehicle cruised down the freeway Sara's attention was focused on the latest charm he'd given her after breakfast. While he showered and gotten ready she taken a pair of scissors and put the picture in the frame. The small silver frame now held her favorite picture from the photo booth strip they'd taken yesterday. At her house he'd handed a box. 

It was the biggest one he'd given her so far. When she'd peeled back the metallic wrapping paper she'd looked at the box for a moment before pulling the lid off. Within the padded box rested a pair of crystal wine goblets. As she'd pulled the Nambe glasses out of the box she was amazed at their beautiful simplicity and at how well Gil had chosen. The rounded top and the stem that tapered down to a round base.

The wine goblets he explained were just the first part of the present. He was taking her out to the Pahrump vineyard to apologize for the way he'd treated her. Jealousy had made him lash out and punish her with the 419 at the high school solo. It was Greg wondering out loud in the break room if picking through the kid's stomach contents was going to have Sara switching to a liquid diet. The cryptic comment had Grissom pulling the case file. What he'd read and the pictures he'd seen left him feeling ashamed. In his anger he'd sent Sara alone to deal with the cannibalized cheerleader because he didn't want to work with her. He'd put her in a situation where her stubbornness wouldn't allow her to ask for help.

Sara had been surprised that he remembered the case let alone felt bad about it. For her it had just been one more low in their relationship roller coaster. Watching his hands as he steered the car to Pahrump and the vineyard she smiled for a couple of reasons, but mostly because they were spending the day together in a town with bad reception which meant no interruptions from work.

* * *

"Thank you for a wonderful day." 

"The only thing better would have been the body farm right?" He teased. She was right the day had been wonderful. The tension from the last couple years was gone, but they hadn't really returned to their old friendship. Instead he thought they'd found something deeper, stronger and more intimate. He didn't want to leave her at the door to her apartment, but knew that she needed to rest a bit before going in for their shift.

"I've missed touring vineyards. Day trips to the wine country were something I used to do in San Francisco all the time. It was nice to share that with someone this time."

"I always thought you went with Hank?"

"And because of what Gerard said you also thought I was sleeping with him too. That happened a lot later, I knew it was a mistake then, but I was hurt and he was there." Sara blushed it was hard to admit such a thing, but like telling Grissom about her parents it was cathartic. Unlocking her door she had a thought. "Gil have you every read Jane Austen's Persuassion." He shook his head. Stepping into her apartment she left the door open and he watched as she grabbed a small hard bound novel. Picking up a pen she scribbled an inscription into the cover. "Here don't open it until you're back home."

"Thank you. Give me a call when before you leave the lab and I'll be here after shift."

Her eyes crinkled in a smile. "Can't wait." She kissed her fingers and pressed them against his. "See you after shift."

* * *

Crawling into bed he tried to dismiss the feeling that the bed was too big for one person as he opened up the Jane Austen novel Sara had given him and read the inscription. "To Gil, my very own Captain Wentworth. With all my love Sara Anne." 

He'd read the required Jane Austen novels in his English Literature class years ago, but hadn't read this particular novel. Opening the book he noticed it was well used a beloved book that Sara must have read repeatedly.

"Chapter 1…. Sir Walter Elliot, of Kellynch Hall, in Somersetshire, was a man who, for his own amusement, never took up any book but the Baronetage;…"

* * *

AN: If you haven't read this Jane Austen novel and would like too I found a free online version. Ifyou haven't read it, no worries, next chapter GSR will discuss how it relates to their story. Enjoy! 


	15. Chapter 15

SARA'S CHRISTMAS WISH LIST 15?

Spoilers: Should only be tidbits from aired episodes of season 6.

AN: Response to Challenge on CSI-GrissomSara Yahoo Group.

Disclaimer: GSR, the music, movies, places and recipes aren't really mine, but I hope you enjoy this story anyway.

* * *

"Sidle."

"Hi. How's the shift going?"

"Hey. Pretty routine. So are you enjoying the book?"

"Yes. It's interesting, but that's not why I'm calling."

"Oh? What's up?"

"You think you could get the guys to cover a couple days off?"

"Maybe. What days do I need?"

"Saturday and Tuesday."

"Let me see what I can do. Are you even going to tell me why I need the days off?"

"I want to show you something."

"That's not much of a hint, Honey." It was the first time she'd used the endearment on him.

"You've never called me that before, but I like it."

"Good cuz I just don't call anyone Honey you know."

"I know."

"I gotta go Hodges is waiting to give me my results. I'll see you after work right?"

"Right and Sara?"

"Yes."

"Be careful Honey."

"I promise. Bye Honey." She clicked the phone off. David Hodges had been watching her through the glass windows of the lab. Sara got the test results from him while part of her brain was wondering what Gil was up too. He knew her schedule as well as she did so by asking for those days she'd be off for four days straight. While Hodges kept talking about the unimportant she speculated on what Gil had in mind. He'd surprised her at every turn in the last few days. Now it was her turn to surprise her co-workers. She thanked Hodges, gave him a smile and headed down the hallway towards the garage and her first victim.

"Yo caterpillar boy." Sara yelled at Nicky as she joined him in the Crime Lab Garage where he was collecting trace evidence from a hit-and-run. She'd been teasing Nick unmercilessly about his mustache even after he'd shaved it off.

"Hey I thought you liked scruff."

"Scruff yes, but that was more like fuzz." Tilting her head as if deep in thought, "Maybe even dryer lint."

"Hheeeyyy. I shaved it off already. So how long are you going to keep teasing me about the moustache?"

Sara closed her eyes as if giving it serious thought. "Hmm about as long as I teased you about the haircut Mr. Clean."

"So until something better comes along."

"Pretty much."

Sara shrugged, "Anyway Poncho Villa the reason I came looking for you is I need a favor."

"You're giving me a hard time and you want a favor?" Nick grinned at the idea of having Sara at his mercy. "So what can I do for you Ms. Sidle?" He asked wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Sara laughed, "Are you willing to trade days. I need Saturday off."

He felt her forehead. "Are you sick?" Touching his own forehead as if checking for a fever. "Am I hallucinating or are you voluntarily asking for time off?"

"Yes something more interesting than work has come up."

"So are you willing to cover for me or not?" She hoped her tone would discourage him from asking questions that she couldn't answer.

Nick grinned. "Sure I can trade days with ya, but I'll have a favor of my own for ya when you get back."

"Sure and thanks Nicky." She kissed his cheek unconsciously as she moved down the hallway to convince Greg to cover a shift for her too. Nick grinned that was too easy and he almost felt bad, but she hadn't asked what the favor was before accepting and he saw a way to win the bet with Catherine.

* * *

Greg saw Sara coming down the hall before she saw him. There was a spring in her step and a sweet smile on his face that he hadn't seen in a long time.

"Hey Greg."

"Hi Sar. You're happy."

"I'll be happier if you say yes."

"Yes to what?"

"I need Tuesday off. Could you cover?"

"What's in it for me?"

"I'll take the next decomp or dumpster dive."

Greg circled around her with his fingers forming a square, like photographers used to see what framed shots would look like. "Hmm. Why do you need it?"

"None of your business Greg."

"Hmm. The evidence leads me to suspect there is a man involved."

"Yes or no Greg." Sara knew her cheeks were starting to pink with the first hint of blush. Aiming for a stern tone she hoped to get him to stop before things got out of hand.

"So it is a man."

"Grrreggg."

"Alright I'll cover for you, but I get to choose the method of payment."

"Nothing illegal and I'm not kissing you."

"Aww." Greg tried to look crestfallen. "It's a deal."

"Great. Thanks Greg."

"So you gonna tell me about him?" Greg asked as they entered the break room.

"No."

"Tell us about who?" Catherine asked, remembering how cold Grissom had gotten the last time Sara was dating someone seriously.

"Santa brought Sara a boyfriend for Christmas and I don't mean the blow up kind." Greg teased moving towards the coffee pot.

"I didn't say that."

"She told me something had come up that was more interesting than work." Nick added as he walked into the room.

"I'm not having this conversation. I have work to do." Sara raced from the room.

Once she was safely out of the layout room the others continued the conversation.

"You think Grissom knows or cares?"

"Could it be Grissom? Do you think he finally got?"

"That would be too much to hope." Catherine said while thinking about her friend. "Well start dressing warmly guys, because if it's not Gil we'll be working in the Artic again."

* * *

Sara avoided the team successfully for the rest of the shift and called Grissom before she left the parking lot. As she approached her apartment she noticed him leaning against the doorframe to her apartment. Time slowed for her as she watched Grissom for a minute. He was still reading the book she'd given him earlier, but she could tell he was nearly finished. Walking a little louder, she waited for him to close the book and look up before greeting him.

"So how was work?" He asked after a brief kiss.

"I think we trained Greg a little too well."

"Oh?"

"I talked to Greg and Nick they'll each cover a shift for me, but later in the break room Greg wanted to know about the boyfriend Santa brought me for Christmas."

"Wow. You must have been a very good girl this year then."

Sara laughed as she opened the door. "Now are you going to tell me why I needed those days off?"

"A friend's offered me his apartment for a couple days and I thought you'd enjoy coming along."

"Why do I get the feeling there's more to it?"

"Maybe I trained you too well to." He winked and she laughed again.

"Make yourself at home. I'm just going to slip into something more comfortable." While Sara was in her bedroom changing he imagined her in silk and lace. So when she came out in sweats and an over-sized t-shirt he smiled at his fantasies. "I'm making some breakfast. Are you hungry?"

"I thought you didn't cook."

"I don't cook much, but that doesn't mean I don't know how. Now finish your book."

She was just finishing up the omelets when he got up and leaned against the kitchen counter.

"So you think we're like Anne and Wentworth?"

"Don't you?"

"Well I'm not some dashing sea Captain."

"No, but we uh both let ourselves be persuaded not to pursue this

He nodded, Sara was right they were like Anne and Wentworth except instead of a friend convincing them not to pursue love it was their own logic and fears."

"So like Anne do believe that women love longest when existence or hope is gone."

"I've been in Vegas almost seven years Grissom. Even after you turned me down, ignored me and got involved with others I'm still here and still waiting." He nodded and took another bite of omelet. Sara knew that look in his eyes from the troubling cases, the ones where he just needed time to put the puzzle pieces together. So instead of pushing him, Sara let the subject drop.

"You play?" He asked. It was only then that Sara remembered she'd pulled out her guitar yesterday when she couldn't sleep instead of calling Gil.

"Yes. My dad taught me."

"Really?"

"Yah." Sara didn't speak about her family very often so he tucked this nugget of her childhood away with the others.

"Would you play something for me?"

"Okay." She picked up the acoustic guitar and sat on her coffee table. Grissom had long admired Sara's long delicate fingers, they wrapped around the six string guitar neck he smiled. She began to play. Singing along with the music she played. Her eyes closed in memory.

"Here is my song for the asking  
Ask me and I will play  
So sweetly, I'll make you smile

This is my tune for the taking  
Take it, don't turn away  
I've been waiting all my life

Thinking it over, I've been sad  
Thinking it over, I'd be more than glad  
To change my ways for the asking

Ask me and I will ply  
All the love that I hold inside"

He clapped as she finished. "That's was beautiful thank you."

"My parents were hippies. So I know almost everything Simon and Garfunkel and other artists like them every did."

"Would you play some more? You have a beautiful voice and I've always liked hearing you sing."

Licking her lips, Sara wanted to refuse, but there was a new light shining in Gil's eyes. It was one she hadn't seen before so nodding she changed her finger position on the guitar's neck and started playing something else.

* * *

AN: "Song for the Asking" is property of Simon and Garfunkel and all rights belong to them and their publishers. 


	16. Chapter 16

SARA'S CHRISTMAS WISH LIST 16?

Spoilers: Should only be tidbits from aired episodes of season 6.

AN: Response to Challenge on CSI-GrissomSara Yahoo Group. This chapter is dedicated to those wonderful ladies and their gentle reminders that they hadn't forgotten this story. Thank you that kept me going even when I seemed to be lost. Thanks and this chapter's for you.

Disclaimer: GSR isn't mine, but I hope you enjoy this story anyway.

* * *

The final cord died away, shifting her hands Sara prepared to put the guitar away.

"Play another please." She stopped her movements as if unsure so he added. "You've got a beautiful voice and I've always enjoyed listening to you."

Sara blushed a little at the compliment but began to play again. Three songs later she got up to put the guitar away which meant going into the other room. She needed a moment away from Grissom. He'd been an attentive audience. His gaze hadn't wavered as he watched her intently. It was a little unnerving to be the center of his attention.

There had been times over the years she'd wondered what it would be like to know her feelings were reciprocated, that their connection was more than just a strong sexual attraction. She thought she had the answer now, he hadn't looked away. What she'd seen in his eyes while she sang convinced her that this was more than just great biochemistry and pheromones. Somewhere along the way they'd fallen in love and the reality of it scared the crap out of her.

After Sara stepped into the other room Grissom stood and wandered around the living room. Unconsciously he examined her living space the same way he did a crime scene. Absently he noticed the absence of photographs, there weren't any of them. Based on what she'd told him about her childhood he hadn't expected any of her family. He did wonder why she didn't have any from the last fifteen years; there weren't any from Harvard, Berkeley, San Francisco or Las Vegas.

He knew from his years of CSI experience that examining her book collection would tell him more about her and her interests. She had books scattered around the room. In the pile next to her desk he spotted a biography of C.S. Lewis sitting on top of a leather bound volume of poetry. On the counter where she dropped her keys were several magazines including a couple of forensic journals. Moving to her bookshelf he wondered what else he could learn about Sara from studying this room. What other secrets might be revealed?

The first shelf that caught his attention was at eye level. It was the resting place of the entomology text he'd given her. It was sitting between two textbooks one was on advanced theoretical physics book and the other on forensics. Smiling he ran his index finger down the spine of the book he'd given her. Noticing the creases and wear evident in the spine, a sign that she had read the book several times. Initially he'd been hesitant to give her the book. Etymology wasn't a subject everyone wanted to hear about let alone read so he was glad that she had liked the gift enough to read it once.

Looking down the shelf and up to the one above he noted both shelves were crammed with books on science and crime. These books weren't a surprise really, he hadn't expected anything less from the woman who listened to the police scanner on her nights off and read forensic journals on her work breaks. It was the shelf above that yielded some of Sara's secrets.

The books were mostly art, philosophy and literature ranging from fiction to poetry, scanning the titles he caught familiar names like Shakespeare, Emerson, Frost, Barrett Browning. Then there was the empty spot where the book she'd given him had resided. It had been nestled between another Jane Austen novel Pride and Prejudice and Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre.

Studying her collection he found himself modifying his definition of Sara. Like most of their co-workers he'd decided long ago that she was a feminist based on her beliefs and certain reactions to crimes and situations combined with her independence and self-reliance. These books had him reclassifying her in his own mind, Sara was also a romantic. After all the horrors she'd seen Sara still believed in love.

A romantic feminist he tried the term on for size and liked it. It fit Sara, she was a strong woman ready and able to rely on her own independence and intelligence, but who sought a romantic partner who was her equal in spirit and intelligence. Lizzy had found her match in Darcy, Anne had Wentworth, and Jane Eyre with Mr. Rochester. So what had she seen in Hank Pettigrew?

Pulling out her ancient well loved copy of Jane Eyre he allowed it to fall open. A phrase leapt off the page and he read it silently. "I fear discovery above all things; and whatever disclosure would lead to it, I avoid." The words written so many years ago reminded him of Lady Heather's assessment that he feared being known and all the times over the years Catherine had criticized him for not sharing personal things. Lost in his thoughts it took a tap at his arm to bring him out of his reverie and shifting to look at Sara.

"So can I open my present now?"

"Sure." Pulling another box from her dwindling supply, he handed it to her with a brief kiss. It was nice to realize that he could kiss her when he wanted to.

She studied the plain brown wrapping paper for a clue before opening it. Inside was a wooden box, it wasn't really a box, more like a rounded container of birch wood that was smooth and reminded her of fine leather. She noted the seal that had been branded into the wood as she undid the leather strap closure. The container had an old world feel to it and Sara wondered what it held. Within a bed of soft paper curls was a wine bottle, except it wasn't really. The bottle was clear and shaped like a wine bottle, but didn't contain any liquid just a rolled parchment.

Sara looked at him, noticed him watching her as she uncorked the bottle, tipping it so she could retrieve the scroll. Slipping off the band she slowly unrolled the parchment. Smiling as she focused on the calligraphy to read the message out loud.

"Time in a Bottle by Jim Croche?" She glanced at him through her eyelashes as she continued to read the song lyrics as they were written on the paper.

"If I could save Time in a bottle  
The first thing that I'd like to do  
Is to save every day  
Til Eternity passes away  
Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever  
If words could make wishes come true  
I'd save every day like a treasure and then,  
Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time  
To do the things you want to do  
Once you find them  
I've looked around enough to know  
That you're the one I want to go  
Through time with

If I had a box just for wishes  
And dreams that had never come true  
The box would be empty  
Except for the memory  
Of how they were answered by you."

Taking the paper away he cradled her hands in his while looking in her eyes.

"I first heard this song in 1972. I was this sixteen year old ghost imagining my future. As I listened to Jim Croche sing that song I dreamt of finding the one person who I wanted to spend all my time with. Even then I knew that I wouldn't find love like other people. That it would take a truly special woman to love me and accept my interests.

By the time I met you I'd long since given up of ever finding that woman. My experiences confirmed the truisms Rostand wrote about in Cyrano de Bergerac and I knew I would never get my Roxanne. Such a woman would choose the handsome and charming suitor, not someone like me." Sara looked prepared to speak, but he silenced her by letting his fingers rest against her lips.

"Then I met this beautiful and intelligent young woman who was interested in my work. She was everything I'd wanted, had dreamt of for decades and I was terrified that she would prove me right again. So in a desperate move to preserve my fantasy and keep my dream safe, while still keeping you close. I invited you to Las Vegas so I could flirt with you, teach and learn while seeing your beautiful smile and pretending it was just for me. Then when you started seeing Hank it seemed to prove that you were like the others and that my theory was accurate. It hurt, so I decided it would be easier to just avoide you, which hurt us both. I know that wasn't fair to either of us, but I was content to take you anyway I could even if it was just a few hours at work. I'm not content to do that anymore Sara. I want to spend as much time with you as I can. I want you to always remember that."

"Oh Gil I want that too." Sara was a little teary and very moved by the thoughtfulness of his gift. She put both hands on his face and pulled him close for a kiss, in it she tried to convey her feelings and all the things she wanted to say but hadn't. Finally the kiss ended and he held her and wrapped in each others arms they fell asleep on her couch.


	17. Chapter 17

**Spoilers:** May have some through the aired episodes of season 6.

**Disclaimer:** GSR andthe Batman movie aren't mine, but I hope you enjoy this story anyway.

* * *

Trying to move into a more comfortable position on the couch, Sara realized that at some point they had fallen asleep there. Normally she found her couch cozy enough to sleep on, but today it wasn't. Today it was too warm, hard and not big enough because she was sharing the small space with her boss. "Gil." She whispered, cupping his face with one hand and gently shaking him awake with the other. "Wake up it's time to go to bed."

"Hmm."

"Come on get up. We'll sleep better in my bed." Standing up she grabbed his hand and pulled. "Up you go."

If he hadn't been so tired hearing Sara suggest they go to bed together in a husky and slightly breathless way would have jolted him awake. Instead still muzzy with sleep he just held her hand following as she guided him to her bedroom. Sara had pulled back the comforter and sheets before he'd realized where he was. Sitting on the bed she was slipping under the covers when she noticed he was still wearing his shoes.

"Shoes off." She pronounced before she scooted across the bed to lie on the far side. After toeing the shoes off, Grissom slid into bed next to her. "I could really get used to feeling this way." She announced as she turned over to settle against him; her head resting on his heart, her breasts pressed against him and her arm draped across his stomach.

"What?" He was still half asleep, but he'd heard enough to get his attention and he was waking up fast.

"Hmm?" She asked on the tail of a yawn.

"Care to explain that?"

Sitting up a little she met his steady gaze, he was frowning slightly, but silent. She was unsure what he was thinking so she plunged ahead and hoped over talking would help. "You're the first guy to make me feel safe. I don't have to impress you, worry about having a nightmare or wonder if my job freaks you out. You already know how my job and how my family fucked up my life, but you're here anyway." Yawning she settled back on his chest, his hand coming up to stroke her hair. "You understand?" She asked as her eyes fluttered close.

Turning his head he kissed her forehead. "Yeah I do." He thought about women he'd dated in the past who hadn't understood his job, the baggage he carried from it. Women like Terri Miller who'd walked away when he was called into work, Lady Heather who'd become a suspect before they had a chance to discover if there was anything between them and others stretching back more than three decades. "Go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up." Her eyes fluttered closed.

"Hmm. Night Gil." She murmured as she started to drift off to sleep and smiled contentedly in her sleep.

"Sweet dreams sweetheart." He didn't go back to sleep as he thought about what she'd said and the possible similarities of their romantic histories. He knew about Hank's callous treatment, it still angered Gil that the EMT had treated Sara so shabbily. Based on the little she'd said about her childhood Gil was certain Hank wasn't the first to treat her so badly. The desire to question her about what she'd implied about her previous relationships was strong. Sara deserved to be cherished and loved, but he wondered if anyone at anytime in her life had ever done that. He watched her sleep, hugged her tighter when she whimpered from a nightmare and considered his own role in loving Sara.

* * *

Tuesday, December 27th afternoon Sara's apartment

Beep Beep Beep

Sara blinked awake, trying to shake off the remnants of her dream all she could remember was being chased by a six foot praying mantis. She recognize the annoying electronic beeping whine and automatically rolled to the side to smack her alarm clock off, but found the movement blocked by a warm solid mass. Taking a deep breath she realized that Gil was still in her bed, blocking her access to the nightstand and now she was now intimately pressed against him. Her breasts flattened against his chest and her leg rested between his. In all her fantasies Sara hadn't quite considered this situation; lying on top of Gil Grissom their bodies responding to the proximity, but not being sure what to do since they hadn't gone any further than some passionate kissing. Should she listen to her body or her brain?

The warm hard length pressing into her assured her his body was definitely interested. An answering warmth was spreading through her, but she wasn't sure if either of them was ready for more yet. When she tried to roll back to her side she noticed his hands; one was on her hip holding her in place while the other was stroking her back. The calloused flesh of his fingers caressed the skin exposed when the t-shirt had ridden up. Suddenly she was very aware of how little she was wearing and exactly where their bodies were touching. Her attention was focused on the bundle of heightened nerves he was teasing with those small stroking circles.

Her eyes fastened on his, trying to determine if he was truly awake or asleep and if his budding erection was just a biological reaction. When his sapphire eyes locked onto hers she knew that he was not only awake, but fully aware of what he was doing and feeling. "Sara." A dry throat made his throat hoarse and his voice with a raspy, sexy quality that hinted at desire and patience.

"Hmm." In a flash of insight she knew that while Gil Grissom wanted her. Maybe even ached for the release they could give each other, but he would let her decide how fast or slow they went.

"This feels great, but I'm worried it's too soon, too fast."

"Well I'd be content with the runner rounding second base and heading for third." Sara explained shyly. It felt so wonderfully odd to tell him what she wanted.

Gil grinned. "Baseball is a beautiful game."

His hand on her hip moved up to her nape, entangling in her dark hair to pull her down for a kiss. It began as a chaste meeting of lips until his tongue outlined her closed lips seeking admittance. Sara grinned she enjoyed Gil's romantic side, but delighted in this passionate response. The hand that had moved down to cup her ass gave it a gentle squeeze before pulling her body flush against his. Their kisses deepened, growing more intimate as hands roamed and tongues dueled.

Gil's kisses and the way he touched her was addictive, but her muddled brain recognized she needed to act now before things got out of hand. It took all her will power to pull away from him and the wonderful things he was doing to her body. It was the hardest thing she'd ever done because she wanted nothing more than to continue letting him make love to her.

"Gil as much as I'd love to keep doing this we need to stop. I still need to get to the Laundromat so I can have some clean clothes before work tonight."

He kissed her palm. "How 'bout you grab what you need and do it at my place? We can order in, maybe watch a movie? How does that sound?"

"Are you sure?" While she enjoyed spending time with Gil, she was also used to thinking he preferred solitary activities so it was little disconcerting to realize that they hadn't been apart in days and he was inviting her into his home again. "Gil I won't be mad if you need some space."

"If I need space I promise to tell you. Right now I'd enjoy a little less space between us." Sara didn't fight when he pulled her close and began kissing her senseless again.

* * *

Wednesday, December 28th early a.m. Crime Lab Breakroom

Grissom headed into the break room to grab a cup of coffee hoping that some of the strong brew would help shift his brain back to work. The last couple of hours he hadn't accomplished as much as he would have liked. Instead of being completely focused on the paperwork his mind kept wandering. After spending a lifetime dating unsuccessfully he was amazed that today had been so perfect and simple. He hoped that he wasn't grinning foolishly, but it was hard not too.

Pouring a cup of coffee he listened to the quiet buzz of conversation behind him.

"Sara I need some advice. I'm looking for dating ideas. So what was your favorite date?"

Sipping her coffee Sara knew Grissom was standing behind her. "I don't have a favorite date Greg."

"Okay then what did you do on your last date?"

"We got Thai takeout, watched the new Batman movie, and did laundry."

"Hmm. I think I'll ask Catherine for her advice too." As the rookie CSI left the break room Gil turned around and smiled at Sara.

"You didn't tell Greg about pretending to be at a drive in and making out on my couch like teenagers." Gil laughed as her cheeks flushed crimson at the memory and knowing only her long sleeve red turtleneck hid the evidence from the team. "So Miss Sidle doesn't have a favorite date? Hmm sounds like we should work on that."

Stepping closer she whispered quietly, "I'd like that Dr. Grissom. I'd like that a lot. Should we try again after shift?"

"It's a date." He grinned anticipating the end of shift. As she moved away he whispered. "Oh by the way I found your missing sock before I left this evening."

Sara smiled "Good because I like those socks."

"You never cease to amaze me. I never pictured you wearing novelty glow in the dark socks especially not ones with animal tracks on them."

Stepping back into his personal space she whispered. "If you ask real nice I might model my collection of entomological socks." Then spinning on her heel she exited the break room. Alone for the moment Grissom felt the affects of the huskiness of her voice and the memory of the touches and kisses before shift. It was easy to envision Sara in bug socks and nothing else. As he slipped out of the break room he thought 'this shift just got a lot longer.'

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: **CSI already has wonderful owners and all rights belong to them.

**Spoilers:** May have some through the aired episodes of season 6.

**AN:** This is the longest chapter to date more than 3800 words. I've read it a dozen times and tried to catch all the mistakes (but I bet I missed some) since I don't use a beta so all mistakes are my own so please be understanding. Also thank you for all the positive feedback and hanging in there between the long updates. As always I hope you enjoy and appreciate any thoughts, questions or suggestions.

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Wednesday, December 28th after shift Crime Lab

Sara was hanging around the lab waiting to hear from Gil. A call a couple of hours ago had let her know that he was heading out to a hit and run crime scene with Greg. Since it was a relatively easy scene he didn't think it would take long. Now two hours after shift and four unanswered calls later she was getting concerned. She kept telling herself that he just got caught up in the job, that while it was odd that he hadn't returned her calls or messages it wasn't unprecedented. Thinking about how the last time Gil didn't answer Ecklie's calls, the Assistant Director had resorted to sending Detective Sophia Curtis out to the crime scene to deliver the message in person. It was hard not to smile at the memory, boy had Sophia been pissed and she'd had plenty to say about it too.

Unsure what to do, Sara debated her options she could go home and wait for Gil or she could stay here and wait for him. The choice was clear, either way she'd be waiting so might as well stay at the lab. After she poured herself another cup of coffee she tried to keep herself occupied by playing an old game where she'd speculate about something. This time the question was what was keeping Grissom in the field and not answering his phone. More than once over the years she'd seen him ignore his phone to keep collecting evidence. Assuming that was the reason she tried to figure out what the evidence might be.

Like a puzzle she tried each type of evidence against the known facts. Bugs was first considered and dismissed. Unusual blood spatter seemed more likely, but she'd seen some unusual evidence during her years in Las Vegas. It was a game she couldn't win and it was only make her more frustrated and anxious. Looking for something else to occupy her brain so it didn't start concocting wild theories about what was keeping him, she stretched, grabbing the forensic journal sitting in the center of the table. It was one she subscribed to and had already read, but she opened it anyway. Flipping through the journal, she tried not to watch the clock as she continued to wait.

By the time she'd finished looking through the journal, another fifteen minutes had passed and she decided to try him again. If he didn't answer this time, she was calling Greg. Pressing the buttons to dial his cell, she listened as it started ringing again. By the third ring she suspected he wouldn't answer this time either and was prepared to leave another voicemail.

"Grissom." Hearing his voice took a weight off her shoulders, she hadn't realized she was carrying. He was alive and for now that was enough.

"Hey. Did you forget something?" She kept her tone light and teasing; she wasn't about to screw this up over one missed date and have things go back to the way things had been.

Grissom looked at the blue bandage wrapped around his broken wrist. "No I didn't forget our date." Greg's eyebrow rose to his hairline as he listened to his boss' side of the conversation as they walked through the Desert Palms Emergency Room. "I was delayed."

"Delayed how? Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine." Grissom frowned as the hospital speaker came to life, drowning out anything else he might have said.

"Where are you? Are you at Desert Palms?

"Yes, but it's no big deal and I'll tell you all about it later."

"So I'll see you at my place in about an hour? I'll have Greg take me back to the lab and after he catalogues the evidence he'll drive me home."

"Why do you need to have someone drive you home?" The teasing lightness was gone from Sara's. Biting her lip waited for him to break the silence and explain. Grissom didn't ask for help when he was going deaf, which had her wondering if this was worse or had he learned to ask for help neither answer eased her concern.

The longer he was silent the more frightened she became. It was a familiar feeling in some ways, but with a new sharper edge that made her heart ache. Over the last six years she'd been scared for him several times like when he'd been attacked in the interrogation room. At least twice she'd been terrified. A day after Gil's unarmed encounter with Syd Goggle, vicious serial killer, Nick had commented on Gil's luck and Catherine's aim. That night she'd bought a police scanner so she didn't have to wait for the next shift to hear if he was hurt or in danger. She ignored the teasing because it was easier then admitting the truth.

The scanner noise was only a distraction, not a cure for her nightmares. In the beginning she knew that the nightmares were just her mind tackling the 'could bes' and 'what ifs.' They'd only gotten worse over the years from the roller coaster case to when he'd nearly been blown up by Walter Gordan. There had been too many close calls for her comfort on both sides. Now that things were finally moving losing him wasn't an option.

"There was an accident at the scene, it's not a big deal I promise, but the Doctor gave me some pills and now I can't drive that's all."

Gil knew the painkiller he'd been given was making this simple conversation stilted and uncomfortable. He just hoped that this conversation didn't undo all the progress they'd made recently. It was difficult trying to tell Sara what she needed to hear without letting Greg know who he was talking to. He needed to end this call quickly before he screwed everything up. "Sweetheart I really can't talk about this now, but I'll tell you all about it later I promise."

"Well I'm still at the Lab. So I can drive you home and you can tell me all about it over breakfast."

"I'd like that. So I'll see you then Honey."

"Bye." Closing her phone she stared at the table. Restless energy made her want to be doing something while she waited. Working on a case wasn't a choice given her state of mind. Squashing the desire to start pacing the break room she stayed seated, flipping through a fashion magazine pretending to be interested in it.

He closed the phone and climbed into the SUV very carefully, trying not to bump his injured left hand. Catching a glance at the young man in the driver's seat Gil could see curiosity and anger mixed in his expression. "Don't ask Greg because I'm not talking about my personal life."

"Oh-Kay you're the boss." Greg turned the key in the ignition and tried not to thinking about how the action was similar to the way Grissom was twisting the knife in Sara's heart by dating someone else again. "Well I hope you're happy." The youngest CSI said in a tone that dripped with sarcasm. Clearly his employee hoped for quite the opposite.

Leaning against the headrest Grissom closed his eyes; trying to ignore the painful throbs in his wrist and head. He just wasn't in the mood to try to smooth things over with more than one person and right now a certain brunette had priority, so Greg could just be upset.

She hadn't sounded mad about him missing their date. Replaying the conversation over in his head, he decided Sara hadn't sounded upset until he'd glossed over the details of the accident. As the SUV pulled into the Lab's parking space he realized she hadn't sounded angry, but worried. That was an emotion he was familiar with remembering how he'd felt when he'd been called to the station with no real information about what had happened or even how she was. It was too easy for him to imagine the position his obscure call had placed her in.

Sara had watched the hallway, waiting for Greg to walk by on his way to the vault to catalog his evidence before she walked to Grissom's office. His door was open and he was trying to fill out paperwork. Releasing the breath she hadn't realized she holding as relief flooded her body now that she'd had assurance that he appeared fine. A quick visual scan from head to toe and the thing different was the blue waterproof cast around his left wrist. Walking into his office, she crossed to his side and perched on his desk. "Gil? Are you okay?"

"Hey. Yeah I'm fine. Just broke my wrist."

"How?" She fought the urge to pick up the wrist to kiss it and make it better.

"I just slipped at the scene." Sara gave him a look that told him she wanted more of an explanation that that. "There was black ice, I was distracted and this," He lifted the cast, "happened when I tried to catch myself. It's no big deal. The worst part is all the paperwork I have to fill out."

"How about you let me help you with that and then I'll take you home?"

Grissom was looking past Sara's shoulder to the blonde CSI standing in the doorway. Looking at Greg's glowering face the pieces fell into place and he knew why the younger man had been upset in the SUV. Greg was worried about his friend and angry at Grissom for hurting Sara again. It was too soon Grissom didn't have the words to explain what their relationship was, so he tried another tactic. "That would be nice Sara. I'd like to finish quickly so I can get home. My girlfriend's coming over later for breakfast."

"Your girlfriend?" Sara asked confused, until she caught his subtle head movement indicating they weren't alone, someone was in the doorway. Since Greg was the only nightshift person she figured if it wasn't the former DNA tech than it was either a day shift or Ecklie who was watching this exchange. "We shouldn't keep her waiting then." Sara answered with a smile.

"Yes Greg." Grissom looked past her to his newest CSI, hoping the little performance helped. If Sara wasn't mad, than the others shouldn't be either.

"Uhm the evidence is logged in. Did you still need a ride?"

"No thanks Greg. Sara's offered to take me home, so you head on out and get some sleep. We'll see you tonight."

"Night Sara. Grissom."

"Sounds like Greg's more pissed that you have a girlfriend than I am." Sara teased.

"He's very loyal to you."

"I know, but I could never see him as anything more than a friend. So tell me more about this girlfriend of yours."

With his good hand he touched her hand as she reached for the pen and his paperwork. "Well she's the smartest, most patient and beautiful woman I ever met. I really don't deserve her."

"I bet you do." Sara replied squeezing his hand before she started asking him the questions to finish filling out the worker's compensation report he'd been working on. It took a while but finally the form was filled out and copies sealed for interoffice mail. "All done. Time to get you home and into your girlfriend's care. Maybe you'll get lucky and she'll play Nurse for you Dr. Grissom. Yeah I can see it now to make you feel better she'll make you chicken soup, give you a massage and tuck you into bed after a sponge bath."

"Don't you mean play Doctor?"

"Not tonight Gil. Your body needs to rest."

"You think?"

Sara nodded as he closed up his office, their bodies close enough to share body heat. "I wouldn't mind a rain check though." She backed away as the tips of his ears went pink, laughing at his shocked expression.

"Come on, let's get you home." Carrying his briefcase in his good hand, his bandaged hand hovered over her lower back not quite touching as they walked to her car.

Gil Grissom had been on his own for so many years he hadn't thought about having Sara take care of him. He kept thinking about what she'd said. Offering to make him chicken soup, even though she'd told him years ago that meat made her ill. Having her massage muscles sore from the fall would feel great. It was the sponge bath comment that made him feel old and decrepit, breathing new life into a lifetime of insecurities that he was finding hard to dismiss. The ride to his townhouse was silent as the old fears picked at him.

"Sar you don't have to do this you know."

"I know, but I want to. What do you want to eat?"

"Actually chicken soup sounds kinda good."

"No problem. While I'm doing that, you go take a long hot shower." Sara watched him shuffle down the hallway. From the way he moved it was obvious that the pill he'd taken earlier for the pain was wearing off. Dialing one of her favorite takeout restaurants from memory Sara smiled, this may not have been the perfect romantic date Gil had in mind, but it would be memorable, if only because it was the first time he'd called her his girlfriend, even if it was off-handed and in front of Greg.

In her mind it was time to celebrate, his injury and pain pills limited her options, but she was starting to look forward to the 'nurse' activities she'd suggested as much as she had any of his dates. Life with Gil would never perfect even though his dates came close. She knew it would always be like that; they were both too used to being alone and getting their own way. No it was better for them to release the fantasy now and accept the reality that life was messy and complicated. She remembered a quote she'd heard. "We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."

Years of watching and waiting had let her see him perfectly and love him for all his flaws. Once the idealized fantasy of perfection was dispelled, she knew that they could build a great relationship on their imperfections. Reminded of a song from the Sara Evans cd she started humming and singing softly as she explored his kitchen opening up cupboards and drawers.

"Every dinner doesn't have to be candlelit. Hmm hmm hmm. It's kinda nice to know that it doesn't have to be per-err-fect." Pulling out the tea kettle she started boiling water while looking for the other ingredients she wanted for her celebratory breakfast in bed.

"Real love and real life doesn't have to be per-err-fect. Baby every little piece of the puzzle doesn't always fit per-errf-ectly." She found the tv tray in a lower cupboard. On the shelf over his dishwasher she located his dishes, pulling out a plate and bowl and setting them on a tray. From another drawer she pulled out silverware and mint tea bags. Next she found a little basket perfect for holding the loaf of Ksra she'd ordered.

"Love can be rough around the edges. Tattered at the seams. Honey, if it's good enough for you, it's good enough for me." Sara continued singing as she folded the napkin and inventoried the tray. She was pleased with the effect, now all that was missing was the tea and the food. A knock on the door let her know the food had arrived. Sara handed the young dark skinned delivery boy her money while he thrust a paper bag giving off delightful fragrances at her. Gil hadn't come out yet so Sara smiled at her good fortune she might still be able to surprise him. Pulling containers out of the bag which in big red letters read 'Marrakesh: home of fine authentic Moroccan cuisine.'

Once everything was place on the tray she carefully carried it down the hall to his room. Gil was sitting on the edge of the bed in ancient faded navy boxers contemplating the gray sweats in his hand. His back muscles protested bending over to put them on, but things were still so new with Sara he'd hoped to keep her from seeing that he wasn't as physically attractive as the men closer to her age yet. At the sound of Sara's sharply in drawn breath he turned his head. The faint tint of red on his skin was evidence that Gil had taken a long blistering hot shower. Her gaze swept over him absently cataloguing the surprises he'd hidden under his clothes.

This reality was better than the fantasy her guesses had created. His skin was darker than she'd expected for a man who worked the night shift. Her imagination kicked into overdrive picturing the contrast between them; the way his more golden tones would look pressed against her ivory skin. Shaking her head to clear the sudden influx of erotic thoughts, she reminded herself sharply 'Now isn't the time or place Sidle.'

Gil Grissom knew that at fifty years old he wasn't an Adonis nor was he a Homer Simpson. His body had always served him well so he'd never worried too much about appearance before. When he met Sara's gaze he was prepared for disgust and pity, but the desire in her expressive brown eyes shocked him. This had been the one fear he hadn't been able to express to anyone; that once she saw him without any emotional or physical walls she would be repulsed by him. It had happened before. The reality of this moment blew his mind, the most beautiful and intriguing woman he'd ever desired wasn't revolted she was delighted and best of all seemed to share his longing.

"I hope you like Moroccan because I ordered you the best chicken soup in town."

"I've never had it."

"Oh, well I think you'll like it. Sit back and try for yourself." Tossing aside the sweats deciding that if Sara didn't mind him wearing only his boxers why should he. She placed the tray over his lap and identified the various parts of his meal. "The bread is ksra, there's mint tea to drink and this is the chicken soup. Instead of noodles they use couscous."

He brought a spoonful of the hearty soup up to his mouth, blowing on it before sipping it down carefully. "This is good."

"I'm glad you like it. I know I was hooked the first time I had it in Casablanca. Just smelling the cumin, saffron, coriander, cinnamon and cayenne takes me back."

"You've been to Morocco?"

"Yeah the summer after I graduated from Harvard. I took this job as a personal assistant for this guy who wrote travel books. He needed someone who could leave quickly, spoke French, type, travel light and take shorthand. In exchange I got to see parts of Europe, the Mediterranean, Middle East and Asia."

"I had no idea." He hadn't considered that her eclectic décor with its mixture of cultures was because she was a world traveler. "I want to go to Egypt at some point. Did you go there?"

"We had a layover in Cairo, but I didn't see anything except the airport lounge."

"Do you have pictures?" She nodded while he sipped more soup. "Will you show them to me sometime and tell me about it?"

"Sure if you'd like?" Sitting on his bed watching Gil eat his first Moroccan meal, Sara opened up and told him stories of a trip she'd never shared with anyone else. This was a facet of Sara Sidle she'd kept private. Watching him smile when she described her first time riding a camel made her feel warm. Finally after all this years it was safe to open up and let him the rest of the way in.

Once he finished eating, she handed him a pain pill which he swallowed with the tepid tea while she carried the tray back to the kitchen. His eyes were growing heavy by the time she returned and she knew he'd be asleep soon. "Let's get you under the covers."

"No massage?"

"Later. Right now you need sleep and you'll enjoy it more after you wake up. So call me when you wake up, I'll come over with dinner and we can try this again." He wanted her to stay, but didn't know how to ask without sounding old and needy. It wasn't fair for him to make Sara take care of an old broken man.

Brushing the hair off his forehead she dropped a quick kiss there. "Get some sleep Gil. I'll see you in a couple hours."

His eyes were closed as he relaxed into sleep. "Sara?"

"Yeah?"

"Take my spare keys. They're in the nightstand's top drawer."

"Sure." Leaning back over him she pressed a chaste kiss against mouth. Opening the drawer Sara noticed his spare keys were on a colorful pewter keychain. It was a blue and green dragonfly silhouetted against a bright yellow sun, which looked surprisingly like her tattoo. Her heart whispered he'd picked the keychain with her in mind, but her brain dismissed the romantic notion. Grabbing the keys before she changed her mind she strode out of the house.

Opening her own front door she tried to ignore the tears while her heart whispered that she was an idiot for running away, when she could have stayed and spent the day sleeping in Gil's arms. She couldn't have stayed though, the nightmares were too close. Already she could feel the cold, skeleton fingers of them reaching out to touch her and that was the last thing Gil needed to deal with today. She shivered, felt the goose bumps on her skin and knew tonight she would be haunted by memories of Gil being blown up or the memories would blur and blend with her fears until she woke up with tears running down her face, sticky sweat soaked pajamas and a throat hoarse from screaming. She wanted to be with him, but she wouldn't stay and keep him from getting the rest he needed to heal.

* * *

AN: All rights to the song and quote belong to their creators.

"We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly" is a quote by Sam Keen.

The Sara Evans' song is "Perfect" from her album "Fine Place To Start."


	19. Chapter 19

_SPOILERS: Shouldn't have any for season 6._

_DISCLAIMERS: Afraid I don't own either CBS, CSI, any of their affiliates or anything neat and wonderful like them. I wish I did, but I don't so I'm just borrowing them for a little mental recreation._

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: _This was unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own

Wednesday, December 28th afternoon Sara's apartment

There was so much blood, large blobs, streaks and smaller dots she identified as high velocity spatter. Moving around the room she followed the evidence this section here looked like arterial spray while this looked like blowback. After more than two decades the dream and the scene it depicted were as familiar as her own skin. Turning to look where she knew the body of her father should lie; a scream caught in her throat. In the corner crumpled in on itself should be the lifeless body of Tom Sidle, but his dark head was replaced with lighter colored hair.

Her breath came in sharp gasps; as she recognized the corpse in the corner as Gil Grissom. Looking at the mirrored closet doors Sara expected to see her mother's blood covered reflection holding the bloody filet knife. Even as her own teenage self stared in from the doorway. Except the bloody hand holding the murder weapon wasn't Laura Sidle's. The evidence lead to one horrible conclusion, Sara had followed in her mother's footsteps and killed the man she loved.

Sitting up she panted as if she'd just sprinted a track length instead of waking from a nightmare that haunted her. It didn't take a great psychologist to know that it was hinting at a question that she'd asked herself for decades, but never really answered. Was there a murder gene? Sara had avoided relationships so she couldn't repeat the mistakes of her parents. Her emotional outbursts at work had proved to her on more than one occasion she was her parents' daughter. Looking back on her childhood she knew that the passion also exploded between them in the bedroom, but how many other nights had those passionate outbursts lead to trips to the hospital?

Sparks already flew between her and Grissom. There were his kisses that inflamed her senses. She suspected that when they finally made love it would only intensify until she feared that she might just combust from the heat they generated. That wasn't the only time passion flared and heat flashed between them. It had flared up at work a couple times. The memory of his flash of temper during her first year, when he'd lashed out at her on that case when he found the dead baby was still strong even after all these years. Or that time when Warrick screwed up that car wash case and she'd questioned being pulled off her case. In light of her nightmare she wondered how her parents' relationship had started, because she didn't want to have her nightmare become reality.

With the nightmare and the questions it raised preying on her mind, Sara knew with certainty that she wouldn't be getting any more sleep before shift. After showering and getting dressed in an ancient pair of Harvard sweats, she still felt antsy and out of sorts. If she hadn't been waiting for Grissom's call, she might have gone for a run, but needing to stay close to home limited her options of things she could do to keep both her hands and mind busy so she didn't keep running over the same mental ground over and over again because these were questions she couldn't answer.

"Get a grip Sidle." She chastised herself quietly as she pulled out a cookbook looking for something to cook for Gil. Gil Grissom was finally doing something about 'this' and after one little accident she wasn't about to start running scared. Since it he broke his non-dominate hand the only foods out of the questions were ones that needed both hands to eat. Pulling out a cookbook she flipped through the pages looking for anything that sounded appetizing.

Sara hadn't gotten very far when the ringing of her cell caught her attention and she recognized it as Gil's ringtone. "Sidle."

"I miss you."

"Gil I've only been gone a couple of hours."

"I know, but I can't sleep. Will you come over?"

"You need your sleep babe."

"I'm lonely. My bed's too big without you now." Sara smiled into the phone as she flashed on a book she'd read to her foster brother Jason where the little boy whined 'I'm crowded roll over' until he was alone in the big bed and finally cried out 'I'm lonely come back.'

"You want me to bring food?" Sara headed back into her bedroom to pull out her work clothes, grabbing clean jeans, a t-shirt, sweater and boots then shoving it all into the duffle bag with her spare work clothes.

"Nah. Just you, we can deal with the rest later."

Deciding not to bother changing out of her sweats for the drive over, Sara smiled as she locked her front door. "Grissom I'll be there in a couple of minutes."

Pulling his spare keys out Sara felt the terror and anxiety from her nightmare receding. Stepping quietly into his townhouse, she shook her head at her random thoughts about the things he'd said under the influence of pain medication and wondering if she could get him to tell her why she needed those couple extra days off. Leaving her work bag, the present box and her shoes near the front hall closet, she crept towards his bedroom.

"I'm still awake." He called out, sitting up as she leaned against the bedroom door frame.

"Is it time for another pill?" She asked noticing the slightly pinched look on his face. At his slight nod she walked over to open the pill bottle and dumped out the prescribed number of pills.

He swallowed them down then pulled her into his body. "Thanks for coming." He murmured into her hair.

"Thanks for asking." Sara felt her body relaxing into his warmth, her arms draped over his around her waist as her eyes drifted close to join him in slumber. Her last thoughts as she fell asleep were that could get used to this.

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Thursday, December 28th start of shift Crime Lab break room

When Grissom still hadn't called or arrived by the time everyone met in the breakroom for assignments Catherine pulled out her phone and dialed. "Gil are you okay? Yeah I heard about that. No you stay home we've got everything covered. You feel better okay?" After closing her cell she told them, what they all already knew Grissom had called in ill. Sara didn't bother mentioning that she hadn't been able to wake him before she left.

"We've got a 407 robbery at O'Shane's Bar and Grill for Nick and Greg while Warrick and Sara get a 419. I'm staying here to finish up on the Beaumont case and any paperwork that can't wait."

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Of all the telephone calls she never wanted to make again, this one ran a close second behind calling having to call Nick's parents. The phone rang twice before he answered in a tired voice.

"Grissom."

"Gil its Cath; Listen Brass is gonna be at your place in about 10 minutes I need you up, dressed and ready to come to the Lab by the time he gets there."

Reaching up to rub his eyes with his left hand, before he remembered the cast on his injured hand he swore silently. "Why?"

"Gil you have 9 minutes or he's dragging you in, wearing whatever you're got on." He would have asked why, but she'd hung up before he had a chance. Instead he went to his closet grabbed a pair of navy work pants, a blue polo and loafers before moving to his dresser and then into his bathroom.

Five minutes later Brass knocked on the door, taking a deep breath before Gil Grissom opened it. His friend opened the front door wide and silently waved him in. It was two a.m. and Jim wouldn't have come here on a night Gil called in sick unless it was important.

Scanning the townhouse living room Jim was glad to see that Gil hadn't taken up Sara's habit of listening to the scanner in her off hours. Shrugging his shoulders in his tweed suit jacket Jim Brass tried to decide how best to broach the subject.

"Gil you haven't talked to Mobley or Ecklie yet right?"

The scientist's eyes narrowed, "Why would I?"

"There was a shooting at a scene. Cath and I well we thought you should hear it from a friend first." Color drained from Gil's face as the news sunk in.

"How are my guys?" Gil asked even as he began moving through the house towards his bedroom, waving at Jim to follow him.

"The guys are okay, though Sara's a little shaken up."

"Sara?" Jim watched as Gil stopped moving to collapse on the bed stunned. In Gil's mind he could see Sara as she'd been at dinner all smiles as she opened the latest present.

_Earlier that evening_

"_Gil what's this?" She pulled out the netlike cylinder._

_He smiled, "That's a Butterfly Pavillion. In the spring we can put in caterpillars, watch them become butterflies and then release them. Do you know the Native American legend?"_

"_No." She leaned back into his chest._

"_If you want a wish to come true. Capture a butterfly, tell it your wish and release it. The butterfly will carry it to the heavens and tell the Great Spirit so it could be granted."_

_She looked at the quote he'd included and read it aloud. "The butterfly counts not months, but in moments and has time enough….Lets be like the butterfly and find joy in all our moments. Gil. That's beautiful. Thank you." Then her soft lips were pressed against his own._

That memory was replaced by one older memory after another. Tears pouring down her face in her apartment. Huddled in the Police Station after being pulled over. Sara clutching at the metal window covering after that lunatic threatened to rape and murder her. Each time he'd been helpless to save or comfort her and he hated that feeling. "What's wrong with Sara?"

"Sara's okay. She's okay Gil." Jim watched Gil reach for his cell, he assumed the shaken man planned to call the younger woman. "She can't talk to you right now, because she's waiting for IA."

"What the hell happened?"

"Well Warrick and Sara were investigating a 419. Apparently nature called so rather than contaminate the scene she umm went next door to use the bathroom and um walked into the middle of a situation."

"What kind of situation?"

"There was no evidence indicating the neighbor had anything to do with the 419 next door, but the guy lost it when Sara came out and drew his weapon."

"Is he dead?" Years ago Sara had stated emphatically that she could never kill someone. He now knew the sentiment was rooted in her childhood. If Sara had taken someone's life she'd be more than just a little shaken. Glancing at his the phone where the first half of her phone number was still displayed.

"No. He was wearing his vest, but Gil this thing is gonna get ugly. The guy is a dayshift officer."

"Give me two minutes to finish getting dressed." Jim nodded and left the room, giving his buddy a little privacy. The privacy was more so Grissom could get a hold of his chaotic emotions than so he could finish getting dressed.


	20. Chapter 20

_DISCLAIMERS: Afraid I don't own either CBS, CSI, any of their affiliates or anything neat and wonderful like them. I wish I did, but I don't so I'm just borrowing them for a little mental recreation._

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: _This was unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own

* * *

As Brass pulled up to the building, Gil Grissom had never been so happy to see a place in his life. The desire and need to get to Sara pulled at him, in the same way it had when he'd gotten the call to pick her up after her close call with the DUI. It was a mixture of concern, caring and a desire to protect her that had him unbuckling his seatbelt before the vehicle came to a complete stop. Those feelings had only gotten more intense since she'd told him about her parents, Nick had been kidnapped and he'd watched Adam Trent hold the ceramic shard to her throat. He had the door open and was getting out of the car before Brass had even turned the ignition off or put the car in park.

Brass had to practically run to keep up with the entomologist, who was moving surprisingly fast, but managed to keep up so he could walk silently beside his friend providing moral support as they entered the room to watch the interrogation. This wasn't the first time either man had watched Sara in this room, but it was the first time to see her on the other end of the questions.

Gil's eyes scanned Sara looking for new injuries while trying to reassure himself that she really was okay. Brass had said she was, but he needed to see that for himself. She was wearing one of the CSI's dark blue coveralls instead of the clothes she'd started the shift in. In some ways that was less reassuring because if her clothes were taken as evidence than the perp had gotten way to close for Grissom's comfort.

He spotted the slight tensing in her shoulders; the way she slumped forward a little in what he recognized as her defensive posture. Her lips were pressed firmly together as if she was trying to suppress her emotions and her tendency to over-talk. What he noticed that concerned him more than anything was that she looked exhausted, like she did after working a long triple shift on a rape or abuse case. Dark circles were forming under her eyes giving her pale skin a slightly bruised appearance.

As he noted who else was in the room, the reason for Sara's defensive pose was obvious. Leaning against the wall behind her was Lt. Frankie San Carlos in a dark suit with an obnoxiously bright tie. The dark skinned Hispanic detective from Internal Affairs had a poker face and was known for an aggressive interview style. Sitting across the table from Sara was Conrad Ecklie in his standard gray suit and Assistant District Attorney Marian White who's coffee and cream complexion looked stunning in ivory and gold, but didn't mask her unhappiness at being called into work so many hours early. The only possible ally Grissom saw in the room was Catherine Willows, who had pulled up a chair on Sara's right side, but their relationship was unpredictable.

"Ms. Sidle we need you to tell us what happened from the beginning." Frankie asked quietly from behind. Rather than turn awkwardly to face him, Sara caught his eye in the mirror and nodded. Taking a deep breath she glanced at the others in the room, half wishing that Gil was there for emotional support and half grateful he wasn't because she didn't want to breakdown in front of Ecklie.

"I arrived early for my shift and waited with the rest of the team for Catherine Willows to hand out assignments."

"Why were you waiting for Catherine to hand out assignments?" Conrad Ecklie asked, making notes on a pad in front of him.

"Because Grissom broke his wrist last night, so when he'd call in ill based on his doctor's orders, it meant Catherine would be handling the supervisor duties that night. May I continue?"

A slight nod from the man across the table and she began her narrative again. "Catherine handed out the assignments. Nick and Greg got a robbery and she stayed for paperwork I think. Warrick Brown and I were assigned together for the 419 on 857 Paradise Avenue. He drove us both to the scene, once we got there the scene we divided up the work. We split the perimeter, each taking half and then meeting back at the front to head into the house together. We began processing the scene together. I took photographs while he did the scene sketch. When that was done we took a short break and went outside to catch some fresh air."

"Why did you and Brown go outside?"

Taking a deep breath, Sara managed not to roll her eyes at Ecklie and his asinine questions. "During the apparent struggle with the victim, Marcie Hanover, a bottle of perfume was broken. The fragrance was really overpowering."

"I see. So what happened outside?" Marian asked quietly directing her witness.

"Warrick went over to get an update from Detective Vega and I checked in with Officer McCormick who was drinking hot coffee with another man."

"How did you know McCormick was drinking coffee?" Ecklie asked and this time Sara couldn't quite stop the eye roll.

"I followed the evidence of course." Sara paused for dramatic effect she knew Ecklie would recognize one of Grissom's favorite quotes. "I could smell it and the guy he was standing next to was pouring some out of a thermos. It didn't take a Harvard degree to figure it out."

"Did you recognize the man with McCormick?" Catherine asked trying to get the questioning back on track before Sara lost her temper with Ecklie and her co-worker ended up suspended again or worse.

"Not at first, but after McCormick introduced us, I sort of recognized him. I don't work with dayshift very often and he looked different out of uniform and unshaved."

"So Officer McCormick introduced you to Officer Pruett?" San Carlos clarified for the record.

"Yes. Pruett explained that he lived in the house next door, but hadn't heard or seen anything suspicious. He said that the victim was a real nice lady, everyone liked her."

"What happened next?" Catherine prodded gently.

"Pruett offered me some coffee, which I didn't accept, but I asked if I could use his bathroom. He agreed and led me over to his place."

"Why did you ask to use Officer Pruett's bathroom?" Ecklie wheedled.

"Because I needed to use one and couldn't use one at the victim's house without compromising the scene. Normally I'd just go on a coffee run, but since a cop lived next door I figured that would be okay since nothing at the scene indicated he was involved."

"So when you entered Officer Pruett's house he was in no way a suspect, is that correct?" The Assistant District Attorney inquired trying to make sure no evidence that was discovered was tossed out of court.

"No Officer Pruett was not a suspect."

"When did he become a suspect?" San Carlos asked loosening his tie.

"About the time he put a nine millimeter to my head, confessed to accidentally killing his girlfriend and threatened to kill me too." Sara's voice rose in volume a little in agitation this time. She'd already repeated everything for the record twice and going through it again seemed like overkill. All she really wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep; the deep peaceful sleep of someone not already haunted by the horrors from her past or the stuff she saw on the job. Sara had enough nightmares without having a waking one where they kept making her relive what had happened in detail over and over.

"Sara why don't you tell us what happened after you followed Officer Pruett into his house?" Catherine's voice was quiet and calm. When her blue eyed gaze met Sara's she gave the younger woman an encouraging smile.

"Officer Pruett opened the door, showed me where his guest bathroom was. I noticed a couple of strange things, but wasn't sure until I got into the bathroom. I could smell the perfume from the scene and realized I'd stumbled onto a person of interest and a possible secondary crime scene. I knew that Pruett and his house would both need to be examined by someone who hadn't been at the first one, so I was careful to limit possible cross-contamination."

"But didn't you contaminate the scene already just by being there?" Sara understood the ADA's question it was the kind she would use during trial to explain to the jury.

"I tried to minimize my presence in the room, but not actually using it and following lab procedure, except for when I touched the outside doorknob ungloved. So my finger prints will be there. I didn't want to raise Officer Pruett's suspicions so I used gloves to flush the toilet and turn the water on and off to mimic actually using the bathroom. Any other trace evidence from my presence should be easily explained since samples of my DNA are on file and my clothes are now part of the evidence." Sara plucked at the coveralls and the attorney nodded in understanding.

When no one said anything Sara continued. "I came out, decided I would alert Vega. I only took a couple steps away from the door before he came up behind me. He said something about how no CSI Bitch was gonna pin the murder on him by planting evidence 'cause he'd been careful and made sure not to leave any evidence at the scene."

"Then what happened?"

"My weaponless defense training kicked in, his gun went off and then the Calvary came in." Sara caught Catherine's facial expression and explained further. "Vega and Warrick came into the house, Pruett went to the hospital with a gun shot wound and I came here to be processed as evidence and answer your questions. End of story."

In her mind Sara could see the events unfolding as it happened in slow motion, but wasn't sure how to describe the hand to hand fight with Officer Pruett that resulted in his weapon being fired while she was disarming him. She remembered the relief in Warrick's eyes and the fervent whispered "Thank God." It that one breath he'd made her realize exactly how close she'd been losing her life and losing Grissom when everything seemed to be working out. She'd managed to maintain control so far, but could feel it slipping.

The Officer from IA nodded satisfied that Sara's account had never wavered. "Thank you for your time Ms. Sidle. You'll be on administrative leave and restricted duty until we finish our investigation, but we should have a final decision in a few days."

Sara nodded and rose quickly. Grissom didn't stay to watch the rest of the room clear. He just wanted to get to Sara, she had looked calm, but she was also very good at hiding what she was really feeling. He'd watched over her for so many years, but was only just learning to pick up on the subtle cues leftover from her childhood. Hearing her raised voice in the hallway was the first indication that he was right and something was wrong. It sounded like Conrad Ecklie's voice yelling back at her. As he got closer Gil could make out more of the words and phrases.

"Grissom might have saved your job once, by suggesting I fire him instead of you, but I'm not going to let his need for you bring down the entire lab. You're a loose cannon with a gun. If he hadn't been wearing a vest an Officer would've died tonight because of you."

"Conrad you heard the same explanation I did, give her a little credit. Sara did everything right and got both herself and the suspect out alive without mucking up the case. It's not her fault that she didn't expect an LVPD Officer to be a murderer."

"Since you two seem to have both sides of this argument covered, would it be okay with you if I grabbed my purse and headed home since shift's almost over." Sara had spoken quietly, but neither the Assistant Director or Catherine Williows acknowledged what she said so she just shrugged and started moving down the hallway. When she saw Grissom she gave him a watery smile, he was coming closer and suddenly she needed to close the distance. He released a grateful sigh as he wrapped his arms around her. The Supervisor in him wanting to believe that he'd have done the same thing if it was one of the guys or Catherine, but he knew that the desire to never let go was something he felt as a man for Sara only.


	21. Chapter 21

DISCLAIMERS: Afraid I don't own either CBS, CSI, any of their affiliates or anything neat and wonderful like them. I wish I did, but I don't so I'm just borrowing them for a little mental recreation.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own

* * *

The first few tears slipped down her face unnoticed to land on Gil's shirt. "Hey, let's grab your stuff and then you can drive me home, okay?"

Sara didn't quite manage a real smile, it was still a little forced as she wiped at the wet tracks. "Sure."

Grissom released her from the hug, but allowed his uninjured hand to rest against the small of her back as he escorted her out of the station and back to the Lab's locker room to collect her things.

"I've got my spare clothes if you wanna give me a sec to change."

"Don't bother. I was thinking you'd rather change into them after a long soak in the tub, while I pull breakfast together."

"Gil you should be resting. I can drop you off at your place and take a bath at mine."

He leaned closer so that he almost whispered the words into her ear. "So you're passing up the chance to soak in my Roman sunken tub with whirlpool jets?"

"Well, when you put it that way it's hard to say no."

"Then say yes."

"Okay." Sara's voice was quiet she was still looking at the tiles. With a single finger he pushed her chin up so their eyes met.

"Hey I'm proud of you." Her eyes widened and he thought her breath caught for an instant. "Ecklie can be a real ass, but you didn't let him get to you." Sara shrugged and Grissom wondered how much of her apparent self-confidence was an act. "Sara ignore what Ecklie said he's just ticked at being called in at the crack of dawn during his vacation to deal with the Sheriff, I.A., D. A. and a possible war between the lab and LVPD. You did a good job Sara both at the scene and during the questioning. I'm proud of you."

Sara didn't get a chance to respond before the locker room door opened, Gil pulled away and Catherine Willows stormed in her face flushed with anger.

"You didn't get suspended did you?" Gil asked his friend so Catherine's focus was on him, giving Sara time to gather herself and her things together.

Catherine shook her head, "No. He wouldn't shoot himself in the foot like that no matter how cranky he was. With you both either off or on limited duty the next five days he needs me to run the shift."

Sara nodded as the red head pulled open her locker. Grabbing the change of clothes and her toiletry kit before closing the locker she smiled when Grissom put his hand on her back again. "Night Catherine." When the other woman looked up from grabbing her things, Sara gave a friendly wave.

Catherine's anger faded, replaced by a warm smile. "Bye. See you two tonight."

It was a comfortable silence as Grissom escorted her from the building. Even with an injured hand he was a gentleman and kept opening doors. If it had been any other man she worked with she would have balked, but with Grissom it was just another aspect of his persona. She remembered a scene from Firefly when Simon the suave civilized Doctor had told Kaylee that his manners were the only way he could show her how much he cared. Sara smiled at a quote and liked to think maybe Grissom was the same way. The silence wasn't broken until he closed the townhouse front door behind her.

"I really am proud of you; the way you handle the interrogation, especially the way you dealt with Conrad."

Sara nodded. "What did Ecklie mean? That you saved my job by risking yours? Brass and Catherine each hinted at something once."

"You mind if we get comfortable before I tell you?"

"Are you trying to avoid telling me?"

"No. It's just my wrist is throbbing so I need to take some pills and I thought you'd like to take your bath first."

"You said you had a sunken tub with jets?"

"Yup in the master bathroom and there might be something in your Christmas box to go with it." Sara allowed Grissom to divert her with the idea of soaking in a hot bath.

"Go take your pills, I'll grab the box and meet you at the sofa."

There were only a couple things left in the box so Sara pulled them all out and laid them out on the coffee table. She watched as Grissom examined them skipping two packages and settling on the third the largest of the three. Untying the ribbon Sara smiled at the contents of the box. It was a lavender aromatherapy bath set, there were bath beads, massage oil, votive candles, bath salts and a cd to relax too.

"I thought these might help you relax more after a bad case and I think tonight's the perfect night to try them. Come on." He held out his good hand, smiling when she placed her hand in his as she rose.

Sara followed Gil down the hallway, still pleased by the thought he'd put into each and every single gift. "You're okay if I lie down while you bathe right?"

"Of course." The last time she was in his bathroom she'd ignored the tub entirely only focusing on the task at hand.

"I also put out some towels and a robe for you." That explained why it had taken him so long to meet her back at the couch.

She watched him get settled on the bed, before heading into the bathroom and starting to draw her bath. For the first time she really looked at the master bathroom. The walls were a soothing blue and a couple of framed photographs of sunny beaches hung on the wall. The tub was huge; long enough that she could lie down and wide enough to accommodate two people. Little shelves with votive candles had been placed at different heights around the tub. While the hot water filled the tub mixing with the bath oil she'd added, Sara lit the candles. Slipping into the fragrant water she allowed her mind to spin a fantasy.

Steam from the hot water had created a kind of magical mist dimly illuminated by the flickering candles. She was lying in the massive tub, delicately covered by bubbles, waiting for him. It was hard to tell if it was the draft of cool air when he entered that caused her nipples to harden and gooseflesh to form or if it was just her body reacting to being in his presence. The question was moot as he closed the distance, stopping only to remove his navy robe, revealing black silky boxers and lots of bare skin underneath.

She was torn; moving to touch him meant some part of her leaving the warm bubbles, but it would allow her to feel his warm naked skin beneath her own. The decision was taken out of her hands when he sat on the ledge of the tub and grabbed the washcloth. Dipping the soft cotton square into the water above her stomach, she gasped when a finger grazed the sensitive skin. Ringing out the cloth, he stretched over her to grab the soap before beginning, so her lungs were filled with the scent of him. It was a form of exquisite water torture as the cloth and soap glided in tiny circles over her shoulders, down the top of her arms to her fingertips and back up on the underside to her torso.

Each touch stoked the flame of arousal as her body responded to his touch as mundane as it was. Lower and lower the cloth and soap moved down her chest and over her stomach as she tried to regain control of her breathing. He'd gently lifted each breast with one hand, his thumb grazing her nipple sending a fresh wave of sensation through her, while his other hand continued to wash her with soothing strokes. Sara reined in her fantasy before the desire got out of hand and her skin turned completely pruney.

Standing up in the tub she snickered, if she hadn't been in love with Gil Grissom before, this tub had pushed her over the edge. He'd been right about her being more comfortable after a soak. Completely surrounded by warm water she'd felt knots of tension releasing from her muscles even before she'd turned on the jets. Wrapping one of the high quality bath towels around her hair and another around her body she thought about the enigma Gil Grissom was even in his own home.

Blowing out the candles Sara thought about how from floor to ceiling there were little details, like the presents, each aspect showed an attention to detail, but also hinted at his sensual nature kept surprising her. Based on his sparsely decorated living room and kitchen, she'd never expected the luxury she'd found in his private rooms. Like the man, his home was a blend of science, art and romance.

Moving towards the door she was surprised when neither his navy or burgundy bathrobes were hanging there, but a soft silky feminine robe was. She fingered the delicate fabric; the champagne robe with sage bamboo leaves was trimmed in apricot. It was the most beautiful robe she'd ever seen. A note was attached that simply read "Wear Me!" She laughed at the Alice in Wonderland reference, but did as he asked, removing her towel and slipping into the robe.

A few minutes spent tidying up the bathroom, gave her time to compose herself before she opened the door. He was lying on his side, facing the door, head propped up on his hand a tray of fruit, cheese and croissants in front of him. He began speaking as she exited.

"She walks in beauty, like the night  
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;  
And all that's best of dark and bright  
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:  
Thus mellow'd to that tender light  
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,  
Had half impair'd the nameless grace  
Which waves in every raven tress,  
Or softly lightens o'er her face;  
Where thoughts serenely sweet express  
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,  
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,  
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,  
But tell of days in goodness spent,  
A mind at peace with all below,  
A heart whose love is innocent!"

"From the first moment we met I've associated that poem with you." Sara felt the blush steal over her face from Grissom quoting Lord Byron's poem 'She Walks in Beauty.' It only grew more intense as he continued talking. "There have been times when we're working that I have to stop just for a moment when your beauty, intelligence and courage overwhelm me, just like now."

Kneeling in front of him Sara met his appreciative gaze with one of her own. "I've felt the same way. Gil please tell me what Ecklie meant?" Leaning forward she pressed her lips to his and then to prevent over-talking Sara popped a grape into her mouth.

"You knew that he wanted me to fire you." Sara nodded, she'd told him as much when he'd visited. "Politics has never been my strong suit, but I always was just smart enough to figure out a way to protect Nick, Catherine, and Warrick, but this time I didn't see how I could protect you. Until I stood in his office and didn't think, I just admitted what my heart had known for a long time; that I needed you, that I was responsible for your behavior because of my fear and that I could willingly risk my job for you because there are other jobs, other labs, but only one you."


	22. Chapter 22

_DISCLAIMERS: Afraid I don't own either CBS, CSI, any of their affiliates or anything neat and wonderful like them. I wish I did, but I don't so I'm just borrowing them for a little recreation. The songs quoted below also belong to their creators and publishing companies._

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: _This chapter is dedicated to my wonderful reviewers who took the time to tell me what they thought and reminded me that folks were waiting for an update. I'm sorry it's taken so long to get this up, but we're currently experiencing a heat wave, it's been 100 – 112 here and it took 4 complete rewrites to finally get to this chapter. Hope you enjoy!

"I just admitted what my heart had known for a long time; that I needed you, that I was responsible for your behavior because of my fear and that I could willingly risk my job for you because there are other jobs, other labs, but only one you."

The hints she'd gotten from the team about what had happened at the Lab after her suspension hadn't prepared her at all for the full impact of what he'd just said. After his confession to Luhrie she'd believed that he would never be willing to take the risk and been prepared to accept what he could give.

While this week had been special and romantic, part of her had been waiting for him to revert. Even while he was saying and doing all the right things she hadn't been able to let go of that fear and been waiting for the other shoe to drop because the change was only temporary that he hadn't changed after all.

"Wow." Her eyes filled with tears again, but her wobbly smile reassured him. "So what took you so long to admit it?"

"No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear. Edmund Burke." He sited his source to her when she didn't immediately guess.

"So what helped you overcome the fear?"

"You." He touched her again, the gentle caress brushing her hair and face. "Your bravery, your honesty and an even bigger fear; that I would be too late and lose you forever."

Sara smiled, leaning forward to capture his lips in a kiss. It was only when his eyes darted back up that she realized the top of the robe had parted giving him a glimpse of her chest. It wasn't much, just the smattering of freckles he normally only saw when she wore scoop neck tops, but it was enough to remind them both that she was naked under that bit of silk.

"I'm uhm going to go change." Grissom announced, suddenly getting up and pulling things out of his dresser. "Be back in a minute."

Sara wasn't surprised after revealing both his emotional and physical feelings that he needed a couple minutes. She also needed the time apart to give her time to readjust. He'd revealed more about his feelings to her in the last five minutes than he had in the previous five years.

The bathroom door closed then re-opened seconds later. "The uhm coordinating chemise is hanging in the closet unless you wanted to get dressed."

After the door closed again, Sara walked over to the closet and slipped into the chemise. Their shared kisses hadn't prepared her either for the very expensive lingerie he'd bought for her or the lust she'd just seen in his eyes when the robe opened. Neither of them had slept well apart yesterday, but that single look had said what he hadn't yet.

It seemed like they were on the same page, he wanted her there and there was no place she'd rather be. Closing the closet doors, she re-tied the robe so he couldn't tell she'd put on the silk nightgown and resettled herself on the bed. Popping another grape into her mouth Sara tried to decide if the wiser course was to let Gil initiate the next step or not.

It had taken four years and an ultimatum to get him to ask her to dinner and while she had no intention of waiting that long again to make a move, this week had proven Newton's first law. Her smile was huge as she decided on a plan of action. The knob turned and she quickly popped another grape in her mouth to hide the cat in the cream expression she was wearing.

Gil exited the bathroom in black silk pajamas and she nearly choked on the small fruit she'd been eating. Seeing him in an outfit so similar to the one from her fantasy was enough to make it hard to think or breathe. A lot of men couldn't wear silk pajamas without looking like caricatures of Hugh Hefner, but Gil Grissom looked damn sexy and at ease in them. In fact he looked as comfortable in them as he did in sweats or work clothes.

He settled back on the bed, smirking at Sara who'd done a good impression of a fish since he'd exited the bathroom. Well aware of the age difference and that in many ways he was past his physical prime, he'd enjoyed seeing her obvious interest. Pulling off a bit of croissant he took a bite and dropped the rest of the buttery pastry in her mouth. Seducing Sara wasn't part of today's itinerary, but the chemistry arching between them made flirting and seduction almost as automatic as breathing.

Lying across from her he nibbled on a piece of cheese and watched Sara eat. The chemise and robe had been an impulse buy, but the peachy apricot sash gave Sara a healthy glow. "I knew you'd look stunning in this when I saw it."

Her eyes met his, then skittered away as he noticed her light blush and embarrassed smile. It was a smile he hadn't seen in years. He needed to slow things down so he changed the subject. "So while you were in the bath I finalized some plans."

"Hmm, you never did tell me why I needed those days off."

"I thought you might like a little time away from Vegas and the lab for a couple of days."

"That sounds nice. What did you have in mind?"

"A friend's letting us borrow his place in New York. That is if you don't mind."

Sara smiled, a day playing in the snow had been on her Christmas Wish List, but like kissing Grissom had seem impossible to fill at the time.

"Depends on what you have in mind, Dr. Grissom?"

With the tips of his fingers he brushed her face, "I intend to continue to wine, dine and woo you Ms. Sidle."

"Hmm I like the way your mind works." Sara fiddled with the knot of the robe. "Gil, thanks for being here and for everything you've done."

Sara had never imagined eating a simple meal of bread, cheese and fruit in bed with Gil while they were both wearing silk would be so erotic. Needing something more, she curled up next to him once the meal was done, he held her close so her head rested on his shoulder and her palm over his heart. "Honey I'm here if you want to talk about last night."

"Thanks." Sara could feel the steady thumping beat of his heart under her fingers. "Maybe later, but not right now."

Sara felt cherished and protected that she drifted off to sleep to dream of adventures with Gil Grissom in Central Park very easily.


	23. Chapter 23

_DISCLAIMERS: Afraid I don't own either CBS, CSI, any of their affiliates or anything neat and wonderful like them. I wish I did, but I don't so I'm just borrowing them for a little recreation. The songs quoted below also belong to their creators and publishing companies._

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: _This chapter is dedicated to my wonderful reviewers who took the time to tell me what they thought and reminded me that folks were waiting for an update. I'm sorry it's taken so long to get this up, but I foolishly tried to take full time loads at two colleges, one semster and one quarter. So I was able to finish this chapter during a slow week. Anyway the goal is to finish and post the final two chapters before Christmas. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did!

* * *

Opening his eyes Grissom smiled, this was the way life was supposed to be, Sara's weight was curled around him, her head pressed solidly into his shoulder while her legs pressed into his own. It was amazing how easily things were between them, even after all the mistakes. He wouldn't dwell on the past, but he still felt profoundly grateful that Sara was there and silently thanked whatever power had kept her safe and sound both last night and in the years previous.

Brushing the curling dark strands away from her face he saw her nearly everyday but this was the first time he could really study her profile, the shape of her dark brows or the gentle curve of her cheek. Looking closer he noticed just how much she concealed with makeup, clothes and the sheer power of her personality.

Continuing to stroke her silky dark curls he admired Sara; her independence, strength and tenacity, but for the first time recognized that they were traits born of necessity. Sara had been forced to be resilient and self-reliant, only to be thrust into the world alone far too young. Had anyone ever just cherished, loved and protected her?

At work he'd tried to be more supportive and cognizant, but it wasn't enough. This week had just been the beginning, he would take care of and pamper Sara every chance he got. It would be a full-time job, but as long they were together, he'd make it a point to do all three and watching her steady breathing he couldn't think of anything he wanted to do more.

Seizing the opportunity to do more than he'd planned Gil quickly formulated a list of necessary items. Gently he slipped his arm out from under her head, holding his breath as Sara changed positions, not moving until he was certain she would stay asleep. Then he crept out so he could gather everything so Sara could have breakfast in bed.

For many years she'd claimed that she didn't sleep well, which made him smile as he gently pushed the door open and caught her sleeping contentedly curled up around his pillow. She hadn't moved from that position since he'd slipped out of her arms an hour ago. He was still surprised he'd managed to get of bed without disturbing her, but since she'd slept for more than six hours, he suspected that last night had taken a greater toil than she'd indicated.

The dishes rattled as he moved forward, adjusting it slightly he carefully balanced the tray between his hip and uninjured hand to maneuver into the bedroom. When he looked up Sara was awake and watching him, her dark eyes huge as she smiled self-consciously at him.

"Gil?"

"Sit up." He directed as he settled the tray over her lap.

"Breakfast in bed?" She asked even though the evidence was on her lap. "No one's ever done that for me before."

He looked in her eyes, startled by the emotions he saw swirling in them and didn't know how to respond, he wanted to offer to bring her breakfast in bed forever, but it was too soon. So he settled on leaning forward and planting a kiss on her forehead.

"Well, this time you have to share." He teased as he walked to the other side of the bed and crawled in next to her. "There's coffee, eggs, fruit and bagels for two, but this is just for you." Reaching into the robe's pocket he pulled out one of the last two presents and set the box on the tray. It was the bigger of the two, but smaller than an index card. She moved to take it, but he waggled a finger at her. "Nuh uhh food first. Desserts and treats after."

Sara smiled; poured two cups of coffee from the carafe, adding cream and sugar until both were doctored the way they liked them. After a couple of sips and steamy glances over their respective cups, they started eating and talking. Breakfast was quiet, peaceful and pleasant. Only after the plates were cleaned and the carafe empty did Sara reach for the present again.

Unwrapping the paper carefully she revealed a small white cardboard jewelers box. Popping open the lid she saw nestled in soft white cotton was a silver chain with a stained glass mosaic heart bigger about the size of her palm. Looking at Gil, she waited for him to speak, with each present he'd had something to say or a quote to share.

"There should be a card in the box."

Lifting out the card she skimmed over the printed information from the how to care for the multi-colored glass instructions down to the artist's name and contact information. Until she could focus on reading what Gil had hand-written.

"Friendship is like a glass ornament; once it is broken it can rarely be put back together exactly the same way…..But you can still create something beautiful and lasting from the shattered pieces.' This sun catcher is made from recycled broken glass and I hope together we can build a new beautiful friendship."

Pausing a moment, he hoped he never forgot to appreciate his good fortune to have her there; beautiful, safe, loving and forgiving. "Sweetheart, I know we can't go back to where we started, but with time and patience I hope we can rebuild our friendship as we build something more."

"I'd like that." Sara smiled as she leaned forward to kiss him.

* * *

Sitting on Gil's couch several hours later, she was snuggled close to him so they could both study the newspaper crossword puzzle. They were working on filling it out together, sharing short sweet kisses each time they answered one correctly. Tapping the pen against her lower lip she considered how much her life had changed since writing her Christmas Wish List. Less than a week ago getting a single kiss had seemed impossible, now going without them did. He moved slightly, pulling her closer. "The last answer is adumbrating."

Sara just nodded and filled in the boxes of the last clue before turning to him for the expected kiss. Dipping his head closer, he slid his good hand into her dark locks to guide her head. When their lips met it wasn't the sweet gentle pecks from earlier, but a firmer press; a reminder of their shared passion. When he pulled back after kissing her senseless Sara was tempted to ask if Gil's plan was to hold on physical intimacy to give them time to rebuild the friendship and trust. Looking into his eyes she held her tongue, but privately hoped he didn't because there was no need to wait on her account.

Resting her palm on his cheek Sara decided that she'd give him until they got to New York to heat things up. It was hard not to laugh when Gil raised a questioning eyebrow at the way her face suddenly flushed and her happy smile morphed into a smirking lecherous one. Gil had until New Year's Day or else she'd take matters into her own hands. Burying her head in his shoulder Sara couldn't banish the flurry of fantasies that assaulted her imagination of what she would do to get him to make love to her.

* * *

Hours passed quickly as they prepared for their trip until they were finally boarding their flight. Walking down the aisle Sara was glad their seats were towards the rear, where they'd be less likely to disturb the other passengers who would more than likely sleep through the flight while she and Gil would read and talk since they were used to being awake at this time.

Now one plane, two taxies and eight hours later they had finally arrived in New York and she was ready to sleep. Grissom exited first and pulled her out of the cab with his good hand. She leaned against his solid warmth while he talked to the doorman and the driver to make arrangements about the luggage. Sara was content to absorb Gil's warmth and let him take charge, his arm around her shoulders guiding her through the lobby to the elevator and into his friend's apartment.

"Now I remember why I chose Berkeley." Sara muttered as she pulled off her gloves and hat as Gil returned from dumping their .

"Oh?" Grissom asked as he began helping her untie the scarf.

"Yeah four winters at Harvard taught me the Viking's were right Hel is a cold dark frozen place so I moved back home."

His chuckle was soft as he finally unwound the scarf and dropped it on the growing pile of outer clothes.

"Well there are some good points too you know."

"Oh?" She mimicked, this time it was her turn to wonder what he meant.

"Hmm yeah." His hands were on her jacket zipper as he tugged it down. "Snuggling in front of a fire with a steaming mug of butter rum toddy." Palms roughened from years of gloves and chemicals caught a little as they ran over her shoulders and down her back as her parka slid to the floor.

"Hmm sounds nice." Sara purred as Gil ran his hand down until his fingers threaded through her own. With a gentle tug he was guiding her through the apartment to the bedroom.

"But we'll have to do that later. For now we have an appointment with a comfy bed with down comforters."

"That sounds even better."

* * *

Sara woke up before Grissom this time, she enjoyed the way he held her close while they slept, somehow this wasn't the way she'd imagined him. She could have stayed like, but her growling stomach reminded her how many hours has passed since dinner. Pulling away she stepped into the smallest kitchen she'd ever seen and realized that the guy who lived here cooked even less than she did, but she couldn't find any menus for local take-out places.

After searching through cupboards and drawers she found enough ingredients to make them a snack to tide them over until they went out. Putting the finishing touch on a cracker she turned when he cooed, "Oh Honey you cooked."

Rolling her eyes she took the cracker up to him. "Open." Sara declared holding something up to his mouth. Taking a bite he smiled at the strange sensations and tastes. The crunch of a grainy cracker, the smooth coolness of cream cheese, combined with a hint of sweet apple and fiery cinnamon.

"What was that?"

"Hors d'oeuvres ala Sanders. Good?" Sara laughed when he shrugged. "It takes a little getting used to I know, but Greg knows what tastes good together." Looking down at the plate he silently took the food item apart. Sara had topped a triscuit with cream cheese and jelly beans. "Your friend cleared out the cupboards so I had to improvise. The green and red done like holly berries are apple cinnamon, the yellow green with spots are pear…"

"I'm an investigator, let me investigate." Taking one of the ones she hadn't identified he popped another into his mouth jelly bean topped cracker in his mouth grinning at the combination of tart lemon with the whole grains. "It's a little weird, takes some getting used to, but good just like Greg."

Gil ate another one, while she smiled at the compliment to her friend, but Greg was a work topic and she didn't want to let work intrude right now. Hoping to divert Grissom from thinking about the lab she asked. "So where are you taking me to dinner?"


	24. Chapter 24

AN: I don't own them, but they are on my Christmas Wish List. As always only the idea is mine everything else belongs to their owners and/or creators I'm just borrowing for a little while. For anyone wishing to watch The Christmas Wish movie that inspired this work of fiction check the ABC Family listings I believe its on Christmas Day 2006.

* * *

"How dressy is this place?" Sara asked as she unzipped her garment bag, cocking her head as she considered the options. She'd packed a couple of the dresses she'd bought on her shopping trip with Catherine, but wasn't sure which would be best for tonight. 

"It's not formal. I'm not even going to wear a tie." He pointed out as he focused on gathering the things he'd need; his shaving kit pewter dress shirt, black slacks and matching jacket. "I'll shower and dress in the bathroom."

Gil turned away from Sara, moving quickly into the bathroom before the sight of her made him forget his plans for a romantic dinner date. She was wrapped in a dark green bath towel that left her water kissed ivory skin exposed to his gaze, but still taunted him with unseen pleasure. Breathing slowly and deeply he turned on the shower and tried to regain control.

Once again in control and determined to follow his plan, Gil exited the bathroom to watch Sara apply the final touches to her outfit as she tightened her leather watchband. Turning to face him, she held out her charm bracelet in an unspoken request for him to help her. Crossing the room she smiled at him while his appreciative gaze lingered on the chocolate colored fabric that hugged her figured. The gentle swell of her breasts was accented by the delicate gold detail stitching around the neck and waist.

He was overly aware of the bed behind them, and the way her skin felt against his, so he quickly hustled her out of the apartment rather than succumb to temptation. It was only when they stood in front of the building waiting for a cab that he finally touched her; his palm under her coat stroking small circles onto her back through the velvety skirt and top.

"Now are you going to tell me where we're going for dinner?" With a small smile Grissom once again avoided the question, mostly because he found himself rendered speechless by how beautiful she looked the outfit so typically Sara, the simple cut and color exuded comfort and elegance.

"I'm taking you to a place I saw on HGTV a while back." Sara chuckled and he raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"I just never pictured you watching cooking and decorating shows." Sara started getting control of her laughter when Gil gave her a little pout. "What's so special about this place?"

"It allows me to combine my favorite things." At the cold burst of wind he pulled Sara closer with his good hand until she was snuggled close to his side.

"Hmm bugs, baseball and crossword puzzles?" Sara guessed, noticing the doorman's amused look at their conversation.

"No silly." Reaching out he tapped the tip of her nose with his index finger. "Two of my favorites are good food and a great bottle of wine."

Sara blushed, but was prevented from asking what his other favorites were when the yellow mini van taxi pulled up. Grissom gave the driver the cross streets of their destination as Sara buckled her seatbelt. Once he shut the door they were both startled when the lights began to flash and the driver turned around and said in a deep announcer-like voice "Welcome to the Cash Cab. Well we're going 43 blocks so that lots of time to win lots of money as you answer general knowledge questions, but if you answer three questions wrong I'll pull over, kick you to the curb and that will be the end of your ride. So are you ready to play?"

She looked at Gil, who had that smirk, the one usually reserved for cases with irrefutable evidence, and she found herself smiling back. This would be like taking candy from a baby. "Sure."

"Who do we have with us today?"

"I'm Sara and he's Gil."

"So where you heading?"

"Dinner." Grissom answered quickly.

"Questions start at $25. The first one is…In the drink, what are the components of a Screwdriver?

"Vodka and orange juice." Gil answered smoothly. He hadn't planned this, but relaxed a little more when he noticed Sara's pursed smile and knew she was enjoying this little adventure too.

"Exactly. How many bits are there in a byte?"

Grissom turned to Sara unsure of the answer, but certain she knew. "Eight." He grinned at the assurance in her voice and repeated her reply.

"That's correct you've won $50. Alison Hannigan played which character in the TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer?"

Again Gil turned to Sara. "Willow Rosenberg." She told him confidently, he raised an eyebrow in surprise; it wasn't a show he'd anticipated Sara would watch. She shrugged her shoulders as if to say she had interests other than forensics and physics.

The questions and answers continued back and forth as they were driven down the streets of New York City.

"Now for your final question. Which pancake flour invented in 1889 was the first ready-mix food to be sold commercially?"

"Aunt Jemima?" Sara suggested. It was the only brand that came to mind, probably because she had a box in her kitchen.

"We'll go with that answer. Aunt Jemima." Grissom told the game show host.

"That's absolutely… correct. Congratulations. Well you've won $1250. I can give you the cash now, or you can go for double or nothing on a video challenge."

"Your choice Honey."

Sara glanced from Gil to the driver weighing whether or not to take a risk. Looking back at Gil she was suddenly reminded of what he'd said so long ago and the risks he'd taken this week. "Let's go for it Gil. I think the other risks we've taken this week have paid off. Don't you?"

"Yeah I do. We'll play."

They watched a 30-second video talking about Scrabble tournaments. Then the cabbie turned and asked the final question. "Who created the word game Scrabble?"

Sara shrugged it wasn't something she knew. Gil looked directly at the clean shaven cab driver and simply said. "Alfred Butts."

The driver handed him the $2500 as the pair exited the cab, Gil folded the cash and slipped it into her hand. Sara was going to protest, but couldn't find the words as his vibrant blue eyes locked with hers. She dropped the wad into her purse without breaking eye contact. Neither noticed how long they stood on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant until Sara shivered.

"Let's get you inside." Gently wrapping an arm around her back he turned her back toward the restaurant. The name caught her attention as they passed through the entrance; Duvet. As they were guided to their 'table' Sara realized that Duvet wasn't like anything the restaurant she'd been expecting on the ride over.

A bright, beautiful and luxurious establishment, there were banquettes, tables and chairs, but it was also very unique. When the maitre de stopped in front of a large white canopied bed her eyes were huge as she looked from it back to Gil and back again, noticing how other parties were lounging on other beds enjoying a gourmet meal. Stepping behind her, Gil bent closer and whispered in her ear. "I forgot to mention that it includes two of my other favorite things."

"Oh?" Sara asked letting one hand stroke the curve of white silky linens as they dipped from the vibrant colored pillows down to the mattress and tried to figure out the best way to situate herself.

Once she was settled and the wine ordered, he leaned close again. "You and a queen sized bed." He captured her lips in a sweet kiss that was full of promise. Unlike the other kisses she'd received in the last twenty-four hours, this one had her toes curling, blood pumping and body tingling.

"Wow you're just full of surprises tonight." Sara caressed his cheek gently as she stared into his eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"I know you said to be become an expert in everything else. It's just I'm kind of still surprised by which questions you knew."

"Oh?" The white wine had arrived and he sipped the dry smooth liquid watching the way the light bounced off the highlights in Sara's hair.

"Gil you knew the names of all the Charlie's Angels from both the series and the movies."

He shrugged, "Well it was a very popular show when I was in College."

"Hmm." Sara sipped her wine. Holding his breath he watched the way her eyes closed and the little smile of delight as she savored the flavors.

"Before you ask, no I didn't have a Farrah poster." He loved watching Sara smile and laugh. This was the Sara of his fantasies and he was determined to give her another wonderful memory to replace the hurt he'd caused.

"Why not?"

"Because even then I was far more interested in the leggy, intelligent brunette than the flashy blonde." Gentle fingers brushed a dark curl behind her ear as Sara blushed, the compliment reminding her how foolishly she'd worried about Sophia's flirting and Gil taking her to dinner last year.

The waiter brought out the dishes he'd ordered and Gil watched Sara's smile as she took her first bites of the mixed greens with vinaigrette and wild mushroom risotto. Unlike other women he'd dated the conversation flowed easily as they ate. By the time she was finished eating, the tender touches and kisses gave him the confidence to move the date to the next level. "It's time to go Honey."

Sara lifted her eyes to his and smiled taking the hand he offered helping her up from the bed. Dinner and the last two hours had flown by; Gil Grissom was a charming and romantic companion. While they sipped wine and ate good food, their conversation covered their eclectic interests punctuated by stories from the past, gentle smiles and caresses. She was warm and cozy both inside and out as she watched him button up the wool coat he'd given her that first night and wondered which man was the real Gil Grissom; the enigmatic scientist, the romantic poet or the nurturing boyfriend. When his hands roamed up her arms she decided he was an enchanting combination of all three. "Thank you for bringing me here."

His hands moved up to cup her face as he kissed her softly while they waited for a cab. "It was my pleasure." His hands made the return trip down her arms until his fingers entwined with hers. When the taxi pulled up he told the driver their destination was at the cross streets of 5th Avenue and 42nd Street.

Sara watched him as the cab pulled away from the curb and drove down the unfamiliar streets. Gil's thumb was brushing an arch across the back of the hand he was still holding and was playing havoc with her senses. She wondered what he had planned as she studied the contrast of his tanned skin entangled with hers. Sara licked her lips as her mind conjured images of more entangled bare skin.

Perhaps the greatest surprise of the evening was Gil engaging in public displays of affection. Yet there was no denying that his affection had been unrestrained, he'd touched and kissed her without reservation. She loved the warmth of his hand resting at her waist, the subtle equality in their interlaced fingers and sweet kisses that hinted at an underlying passion.

She was pulled out of her reverie when he tugged her hand, pulling her out of the cab. Gil kept hold of her hand, letting go only long enough to pull out his wallet to pay the driver and as soon as the leather billfold was back in his pocket he interlaced their fingers again.

"Gil why are we at the New York Public Library?" Sara studied the huge marble lion regally lying on the block base in front of her. "I haven't been here since I left Harvard."

He smiled as he rubbed his hand down her back. "They have names, you know."

"Really?"

"Mayor LaGuardia named them Patience and Fortitude, for the qualities needed to survive the depression." He turned to face her, "Both qualities you have in abundance. Honey without them, we wouldn't be standing here." With his injured hand he brushed his fingertips down her cheekbone. "I wanted to bring you somewhere special for your final gift."

Releasing her hand he pulled out the final box as Sara shed her gloves anxious peel off the paper. Inside the box was a small heart shaped porcelain box covered with delicately painted butterflies and bugs.

"Before I met you, all I had were my insects. Then you came along with your beauty, passion, and courage suddenly there was this whole new world opened up for me. One that I'd forgotten existed, it scared me and it took a long time for me to get here, but I'm here now and Sara I love you with all my heart."

"I love you too."

"Open the box Sweetheart." He urged. Sara flipped the top up, inside was a small seated lion that resembled the one they stood in front of. "A little reminder that I love you so very much."

Winding her arms around his neck Sara pressed herself into him watching as his head slowly descended before closing her eyes and savoring the feel of him as he brushed his lips over hers. The kiss deepened when she opened up to him, his hands cradled her face as his tongue explored her mouth. Needing air his lips relinquished hers to trail kisses along her jaw and throat trailing up to her ear. "Let's get back to the apartment."

As the taxi door closed she slid closer to him, her head resting on his shoulder as he held her close. Sara knew they would make love tonight, taking this relationship to the next level and couldn't contain her grin as she hummed along with the song on the radio. He bent his head down until she could feel the warm breath wafting over her ear as he spoke making her giggle. His lips captured hers swallowing her laughter and anything else she might have said, but his words echoed in the small car even as they kissed. "You know what they say, if you get caught between the moon and New York City…."

* * *

AN: Cash Cab is a great game-show aired on Discovery channel. The restaurant mentioned is real and was highlighted on HGTV, the food looks delicious and the environment beautiful. More about the NYPL lions can be found on the New York City Public Library web page. 

This story started out as a challenge to include the following 10 elements and it has taken more than a year to do it, but I couldn't have done it without you the readers and reviewers who have this journey with me, I am so grateful for all your support, advice and reviews you have kept me going when it seemed to hard. My special thanks go to Daphne who was kind enough to beta the recent chapters and never let me settle for anything but the best. All that remains now that the challenge has been met is to post a short epilogue posted by Christmas.

1.) Mention of Nick's new mustache  
2.) The lady from Big Middle comes back (the heavyset woman that asks  
Grissom if he wants a girlfriend)  
3.) Sara plays guitar  
4.) include a lucky rabbit's foot, chicken soup, and a new snack made from Triscuits or Ritz Crackers  
5.) Griss and Sara's first kiss in a instant photo booth  
6.) Something very silly brings Grissom and Sara together  
7.) A Christmas or Birthday party (you decide)  
8.) Include something with Batman  
9.) Grissom breaks his wrist  
10. End with the line "You know what they say, if you get caught between the moon and New York City"

I hope you've enjoyed reading as much as I've enjoyed writing this...Elle


	25. Chapter 25

AN: At last the story we began so long ago is finished. I appreciate everyone who has read and reviewed, your contributions and patience were very much appreciated.

* * *

Sara's head rested on Gil's shoulder as she looked at their entwined hands, her charm bracelet glittering a little in dull airplane light. The last couple of days in New York with Grissom were better than any fantasy. When he finally said those three magic words, she'd been certain, nothing could be better, but he'd proven her wrong. She sighed remembering the intense kisses, his nimble fingers removing their clothes as he guided her through the apartment and finally the passion as he loved her. The memory still brought a huge smile to her face.

Each day was more wonderful than the last, as they spent every minute together; sleeping, making love and exploring the city. But she wouldn't let him talk about work or the future, afraid that at any moment their 'clock' would finally strike midnight and break the magical spell they seemed to be under. Now as the moments slipped away she knew they needed to have the discussion she dreaded.

"Griss, where do we go from here?"

"Home; shower, bed, breakfast and sleep, not necessarily in that order and then back to work tomorrow night."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know." He squeezed her hand, "It's your choice Honey."

"Then let's take it one day at a time." Snuggling closer she squeezed his hand. "Today its breakfast at a restaurant since I doubt either house has any food. I need to grab a few things at my place before we head to yours."

As he nodded her soft tresses caressed his cheek, an understated reminder that he no longer had to wonder what it would feel like. Each new thing he learned about her was savored and treasured; the way Sara sang in the shower, would order salad only to steal his French fries, and preferred the side of the bed farthest from the door.

"What about the cash cab?" She asked patting her purse.

"Its all yours. Do what you want."

"I'm thinking a get away fund. Maybe Hawaii next time?" She suggested with grin. "White sandy beaches, blue skies and even bluer water."

"And you in a bikini. Okay new plan let's forget about work and go there."

She laughed at his playful tone. "Tempting, but I think we better stick with our original plan Gil."

"Okay, but you say the word and we're on the next plane to paradise."

Turning her face to his, she brushed her lips against his. "Who needs a plane, I've got you."


End file.
